The ‘first look’ has become a popular trend. This new, intimate photo-op conflicts with one of the most notable superstitions: The groom must not see the bride before the wedding. It’s no wonder this topic was pitched for our Big Day Q&A series! Before you pick a tradition to take on, it may help to know the pros and cons of first look wedding photos—it’s not as simple as breaking with tradition or not. There’s lighting, location, and time to consider, not to mention the different ways you can reveal your beauty to your beau. By the end of this blog, you should have a better idea if this photo-op is right for you.
The Pros & Cons
Before I jump into the pros and cons, let’s discuss why superstition surrounds the first look in the first place. When arranged marriages were commonplace, the ceremony was basically a business deal—one that could fall through if the groom-to-be opted out. In other words, if he decided his fiancé wasn’t pretty enough, he could bail. To prevent this from happening, it was decided that a groom couldn’t see the bride before the ceremony. This is also why veils exist! They were originally designed to cover a woman’s face until both parties said, “I do.” How nice. So seeing the bride before the nuptials doesn’t exactly lead to bad luck—but it could lead to a runaway groom. Now that we’ve taken the superstition card off the table, here are the real pros and cons of having a pre-wedding reveal:
-You have more time to take pictures. Waiting until after the ceremony for photography means your guests have to wait too. It also means you miss more of the reception. -You may lose the light. Depending on the time of year and the start of your ceremony, if you wait to take pictures until after the nuptials, you may lose ideal lighting. Make sure your photographer has your wedding day timeline on-hand to prevent this from happening. -You can calm each other down. I expect you’ll be a bit nervous as you get ready for the big day. Who better to calm you down than the one going through it with you? Take a moment to breathe, reflect, and prepare for that walk down the aisle. -The photos are unmatched. If you stage it right, the pictures you’ll get from a first look are unbeatable. Your fresh bridal style, his nerves, your smile, his tears…
-More sleep! If you cut a pre-ceremony photo-session, you have more time for beauty rest. -More time to get ready. We all know that hair never cooperates when you need it to, makeup can smudge, and last-minute slip-ups happen. If you forgo the photos, you have more time to perfect your look. -Sunset, anyone? If you time it right, you could be taking your newlywed shots at sunset instead of in the morning. Both are beautiful, but there’s nothing like a setting sun to enhance a bridal glow. -Your guests will be a part of the big moment. Sharing the first sighting one-on-one is intimate, but sharing it with your friends and family is quite special. -You’ll be married! How much fun will it be to pose as man and wife? That just-married feeling will make the images even more magical.
Tips for this pre-wedding photoshoot.
If you’ve decided to go for it, there are a few things to keep in mind before the big day.
What do you want to do during this special moment? Many couples simply take it all in! It’s an opportunity to fully embrace the day ahead and the promise you’re making. It’s also a good opportunity to calm each other down—you’re going through the same thing after all. If you’re religious, take a moment to say a prayer. You can say one as a couple and gather your bridal party for another.
Where will this moment take place? Since time is a factor, I recommend choosing a special spot near where you’re taking the rest of your pics. Things to keep in mind are weather (have a back-up option) and lighting. Choose this spot prior to the big day and let your photographer know the details!
When will this moment take place? Give yourselves enough time! I recommend 30 minutes to an hour.
Who should walk? Another common question is whether the bride should walk to her fiancé or the other way around. It really depends on the location and your attire. If you’re outside, nervous to dirty your dress before it floats down the aisle, the groom should come to you. If you get to float down a staircase and see his eyes light up, you should go to him. It’s all a matter of personal preference. Who wants to tap whose shoulder? You could also do a reveal with dad and have him walk you to your fiancé!
Need-to-Know Idea: One of my favorite twists on this tradition includes balloons! The bride and groom each carry a bunch of balloons in front of them, covering their look. The photographer counts to three, and the couple lets go of the balloons, revealing their style and surprised faces. It’s whimsical, adorable, and easy to do!
Unique first look ideas.
If you’ve decided to pass on this modern tradition, you can still enjoy the intimate experience in different ways. Some don’t even include the groom! 1. Blindfold the groom. You’re not going to ruin his makeup with this trick, and it allows you to share a moment before you take that walk down the aisle. You can embrace, share a kiss, or simply hold hands and ease each other’s nerves. The photos will be pretty funny, too! 2. Read your letters. Many couples write letters to each other which can be read before the nuptials—another reason why waterproof makeup is a must. Instead of reading them alone, stand on either side of a wall or open door—holding hands—and read them together! A little squeeze of the fingers or a sniffle caused by happy tears will make them even more meaningful.
3. Share a reveal with your ‘maids! They may be there while you’re getting ready, but towards the end of your hair and makeup, and before you put on your dream gown, go in a separate room. Then reveal your bridal style to your best friends! You know the looks on their faces will be worth capturing.
4. This one gets me every time—I’m actually tearing up while writing this. If you don’t try this tradition with your fiancé, share it with dad. His little girl has found a new leading man, so give him a special, one-on-one moment to see her off. He thinks you’re beautiful every moment of every day, but this day is different. You’ll treasure the memory forever! The same memory can be shared with mom, too!
Will you take on this trend?
The pros and cons of first look wedding photos are even. The images could be incredible and you’d have them forever. But there’s nothing like that moment you appear at the end of the aisle, he sees you, perhaps he sheds a tear, and the whole room gasps at your beauty. Will you do a reveal before the vows? What are your tips and ideas? Share them in a comment below!