Are you staring at a pile of gifts right now, pen in hand, procrastinating on your wedding thank-you cards? These personalized notes are notably the most tedious part of the planning process. They also bring up a lot of questions. How long can you procrastinate? Who has to get them? How personalized do they need to be? The answers to these questions are below, along with a few samples to get you started. So grab a glass of wine, your favorite pen, and get to it!

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Wedding Thank-You Card Etiquette: Know what’s right before you write.

Before you start getting hand cramps, here are a few tips to make this task less tedious. 1. Only organize your addresses once. Do it for your invites and keep the list in a safe place until you open gifts. 2. Add stamps to your registry and save on postage! 3. Shop our collection of invitations and stationery! 4. When you open each present, write down the details. That means who sent it, what brand it is, what it looks like, etc. You need to mention the item in each note, and specifics are key. 5. Buy your favorite pen. Wedding card etiquette calls for blue or black (easy for Grandma to read). I’m a big fan of Pilot G-2 pens, but that’s just me. 6. I can almost guarantee that you will not complete every personalized note in one sitting. Props to you if you do, but don’t feel bad if a break is needed

When should you send them out?

I’m the queen of procrastination, but waiting to write your thank-yous will just come off as rude. If you want to follow etiquette, stick to these deadlines: Shower gifts: No later than 2 weeks after the party. Gifts from guests who couldn't attend: Right away! Get them out before the big day, if possible. Wedding presents: 6-8 weeks after the big day.

Who needs to receive one?

There are a lot of people who deserve personalized thanks after your nuptials. A few may seem excessive, but stick to this list and you’ll stay away from the drama. -- Anyone who gives you a present. If someone gives you a present at your bridal shower, bachelorette party, and big day, they get three cards! -- Every member of your bridal party. -- Anyone who threw a bridal shower or bachelor/bachelorette party for you. -- Anyone who allowed guests to stay at their house for you. -- Your parents! You may have thanked them in person, but a hand-written card will take it to the next level. -- Anyone who lent a helping hand. Did Aunt Sue bake muffins for the morning after? Did your best friend do your makeup? Maybe Grandma made you a frozen lasagna so your fridge wouldn’t be empty after the honeymoon. All of these people deserve a thank-you! -- Your vendors. Although optional, if one of your vendors went above and beyond, send them a note and let them know! Raving reviews are also an option. -- Anyone who attended your ceremony or reception (even if they neglected to give you a gift). Yes, I know it’s frustrating, but they dressed up, came out, and celebrated with you! Show them you appreciated their presence.

Wedding thank-you card wording and samples.

Now, don’t write these verbatim into every note you send out. Remember, personalization is the key to a great thank-you. You should be enthusiastic, but not over the top. If they sent you money, explain how you’re going to use it. If they gave you something you’re sure to return, do NOT tell them that. Here are a few samples for the common cards.

Monetary Gift

Dear Aunt Sue, Ross and I want to thank you for the check you so generously gave us. We are saving for the down payment on our new home, and you’re gift has brought us one step closer. We can’t tell you how happy we were to have you there with us as we started our lives together. Love you, Rachel and Ross

Registry Item

Dear Charlotte, John and I can’t thank you enough for the Kate Spade champagne glasses you gave us. John and I can’t wait to use them, and we’ll certainly toast to you! Having you at our wedding meant so much. It wouldn’t have been the same without you there. Thanks again, Carrie and John

Shower or Party Host

Dear Ted, I can’t thank you enough for hosting my bachelor party! The night was one to remember, and that’s all thanks to you. You have been a huge part of my life, and I am so glad you were there to help me start my life with Lily. Thanks again, Marshall

Guest/No Gift

Dear Stanley, Pam and I want to thank you for attending our big day! You’re a great guy, and it wouldn’t have been the same without you there. Thanks for celebrating with us as we started our lives together. Best, Jim and Pam As you can see, 3-5 lines of personalized, hand-written thanks is all you need! Once you get into a groove, you’ll be surprised how easy this task can be. When you’re all done, you can finally put the planning behind you and enjoy married life.

Do you have any more tips for writing wedding notes? Share them in a comment below! Then start shopping wedding stationery!

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