Whether you’re standing at the altar of a grandiose chapel or underneath a lush canopy of trees in a destination location, you deserve to have your best pals standing next to you as you say “I do.” Tradition has held that the bride asks her closest friends and female family members to stand up with her, while the groom chooses his male equivalents to walk down the aisle before him during the processional. Does the groom have a sister he wants in the wedding? She’ll stand on the bride’s side, as to not mix the genders. But times are changing and we love that this practice is, too! So take a hint from Patrick Dempsey and Michele Monoghan a’ la the on-screen sensation “Made of Honor” and go ahead: ask your favorite guy to be your man of honor!
Anita Martin Photography
Here at the Shoppe, we are mainly concerned with why this took so long to catch on. We love new and non-traditional approaches to weddings, and we think that mixed wedding parties have been a long time coming! I was recently part of a wedding celebration that flawlessly executed the bridesmen/groomswomen scenario. The bride wanted both her sister and brother to be her attendants of honor, and the groom wanted his two sisters to stand up for him during the ceremony. Rather than their siblings standing alongside of their corresponding genders, each guy and gal stood on the side of whom they were closest too. So if you’re wondering whether or not you should ask your brother, cousin, or long-time best friend to be your go-to guy on your big day, we are singing a resounding yes
! Actually, we think it’s a great idea. From fearlessly leading the band of bridesmaids to providing emotional support for the bride when the invites come back neon pink instead of soft blush, the maid of honor has large shoes to fill. So to ease any doubts, we’ve listed the main tasks of your MOH and how your lucky guy can fulfill them just as slickly as any of your female cohorts.
Jody Savage Photography
Man of Honor Duties
Helping you pick “the dress”
And the bridesmaids' gowns. While girls are a great addition to any bridal viewing entourage, men bring different qualities to the table. As a past bridal consultant, I loved it when brides brought in their brothers, fathers, and best male friends. These guys were able to look past the sparkle and glitz to see how beautifully you
wear the gown, not how the dress wears you. Your MOH also has the first say in the bridesmaids’ outfits that they don. Now let me stop you before you start brainstorming bridesmaid gowns to flatter both males and females. The best way to execute this trend is to pick a color for your side and a color for your groom’s, then have each attendant wear a dress or a tie of the corresponding color!
From addressing envelopes, choosing a color palette, and helping to choose the perfect flowers to match the tablescape, the maid of honor is generally with you through it every step of the way. Is your man of honor style savvy? Perfect! He will have no problem stepping up to the plate and becoming your color guru. Otherwise, ask your female attendants or for extra help finalizing any major styling details.
George Street Photo & Video
This is when having a man of honor will really
come in handy! Utilize his muscles and heavy-lifting skills by delegating larger tasks to him.
Bridal shower bash
Generally, the maid of honor will either host or co-host a bridal shower in honor of the bride. With a little help, we believe that any guy could throw together a festive shindig! Even better: make it a couple’s shower. That way he won’t feel strange being the only guy at the party.
For this duty, it’s important to know what you expect of your MOH. Do you want his help and opinion on every step of the process, or is the title more ceremonial? If he’s uncomfortable planning the bachelorette party, ask one of your close lady-friends to step up and take it off of his plate—or to help him with the party planning details!
Lead the band of bridesmaids
The maid of honor is the fearless leader of the band of bridesmaids. She is the go-to gal for any wedding-related questions. From corralling the troops, to ensuring that everyone gets their measurements in on time, to figuring out when the attendants need to be at the venue for photos: the maid of honor is in the know. So who says your go-to gal can’t be a guy? Choose someone organized and coordinated to ensure that no wedding-related detail goes missed!
Erin Johnson Photography
We all have that attendee that can’t keep it together at a wedding and it’s the MOH’s job to ensure that things don’t get out of hand— especially while the festivities are still going on! Yikes!
The hours leading up to a wedding are busy, busy, busy! It’s the MOH’s job to play timekeeper by making sure that everyone is in the right place at the right time. Ultimately, they need to ensure that the day runs as smoothly as possible by fielding any questions and soothing any anxieties.
Empty dance floor?
The MOH is the dancing Queen/King. If there is a lull on the dance floor it is their responsibility to rally the troops and get everyone moving!
Brian Bossany Photography
Make sure the bride eats
A hungry bride is an unhappy bride. One of the most common mishaps during a wedding celebration is the bride forgetting to eat. It’s the man of honor’s job to make sure that his leading lady is eating enough food and staying hydrated throughout the day to ensure no fainting spells or shaking jitters during the ceremony!
Toast to the couple
Perhaps one of the most memorable duties of a MOH is the toast to the happy couple. Picking your best friend—male or female—makes the speech more heartfelt and sincere. Having your brother or closest male friend will bring back your fondest memories and dearest reminders as they toast you and your new groom on your big day!
Problem troubleshooting is for when the lights go out and you have to scrounge up 300 tea lights. It’s for when the cake arrives with the wrong name printed on top. The MOH has the duty to run interference for the bride and make sure that everything runs as smooth as possible. Choose a guy that is a natural leader with a calm disposition. You can rest assured that he will be able to handle these tasks just like any lady maid of honor!
Anita Martin Photography
Hold the bride’s bouquet
The MOH has the honor of standing next to the bride as she says “I do.” This includes holding the groom’s ring, fluffing her train, and holding her bouquet as the couple exchanges vows. These simple, but important, tasks can be flawlessly executed by anyone—male or female!
Attend all pre-wedding events
The MOH is generally expected at all of the pre-wedding events thrown in the bride’s honor, including showers, bachelorette parties, and post-engagement get-togethers. If your go-to guy doesn’t feel comfortable at a ladies-only shower, no big deal! Just have him delegate the task of keeping a record of your received gifts. Every bride deserves to have her best friend and confidant standing next to her on her big day—male or female. So we say go for it! Ask him to be your man of honor. Anything we missed? Comment below with any other wedding-related details that a guy would ace just as exceptionally as a gal!
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