The top 10 things not to wear to a wedding as a guest are:
1. Roller Blades/Skates: Wearing unstable foot gear might seem like a good way to get out of dancing the Macarena, but let's be honest, it still won't work. Even if it's a '50's theme wedding, you're better off leaving the wheels at home.
2. Lingerie: While you might be psyched about picking up a potential new sweetheart, showing off as much skin as possible is more likely to result in a painful sunburn or painful stares than a date. Remember, the couple's grandparents are present; keep your wedding guest attire classy.
Great for a night in; Not so great for a night out
3. Ripped Up Rocker Jeans: Unless the reception is in the Boundary Waters, denim is not acceptable formal wedding attire. Even if the only reason you were invited was to supervise children--if they can run in tulle skirts and dress pants, so can you.
4. A Tiara: Your daddy's little princess, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable to wear a tiara everywhere you go. For those rare events where you aren't the center of attention, leave the crown jewels at home.
You can't help being pretty as a princess, but you can ditch the crown.
5. A Tent: You're going to a wedding, not moving in. Don't bring excessive amounts of fabric, marshmallows, sleeping bags, or a canoe. Unless, of course, it's your wedding gift to the couple.
6. A Spandex Morphsuit: If you're in the witness protection program, you probably shouldn't attend the wedding. Otherwise, choose wedding guest attire that shows your face and hides your--everything else.
7. Your Cats: Not only are many people allergic to these delightful creatures, but they tend to not like large crowds. Also avoid 'appearing' to have worn your cats; if it's not clear whether that's Felix on your face or your facial hair, it's time for a trim.
A kitty? or Uncle Joe?
8. A Meat Dress: Lady Gaga couldn't pull this look off, and neither can you. Not only will OSHA have an issue with you wearing a smelly suit to the reception, but nobody else will want to be near you either. Get creative by all means, but wear formal wedding attire that is both smell- and bacteria-free.
9. A Wedding Dress (or white dress of any kind): Yes, it's event appropriate, but only for the bride. It might be convenient for a funeral if your friends and family are already present, but homicide at a wedding is rather tacky. I wouldn't risk the bride's wrath if I were you.
Beautiful choice, but save it for your own wedding day
10. Your Birthday Suit: Unless your invitation specifies otherwise, it is expected that you wear 'something' as a wedding guest. Your friends might be okay with it, but the police probably won't find your 'emperor's new clothes' act amusing. Keep it legal.
So, what should you wear to a wedding as a guest?
It really depends on the wedding. A safe bet is to choose formal wedding attire like a classy cocktail dress or nice pant suit. Unless it's a theme wedding, in which case you should probably dress for the theme.
Now THIS is perfect wedding guest attire!
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