You may be the sister of the bride or a close friend ever since the bride-to-be helped you clean up the milk that you spilled in kindergarten. You may be a bridesmaid – or even the maid or matron of honor. One thing, though, is for sure. You care deeply about the bride-to-be and you want to help make her wedding – and the entire wedding planning process – a fun, meaningful and special time.

Photo by Studio Laguna

Tips for how to be a bride's best friend throughout her wedding planning (and always!):

Consider the qualities of a best friend and then display those traits whenever you and the bride-to-be are together, and even when you’re not. Whether you will be a bridesmaid, a maid or matron of honor, or just a caring, supportive friend to the bride during the wedding planning and during the ceremony and reception, the bride will appreciate a great friend. Be loyal, supportive and caring: You want the best for the bride-to-be and that means no behind-her-back criticizing of choices that she’s made for the wedding, or griping about how she sometimes gets emotional during the wedding planning process. Each person is unique, with individual tastes and preferences. Plus, it’s perfectly natural for brides-to-be to have emotional moments. To display the qualities of a best friend of the bride, simply accept her choices and preferences as part of her. If she asks for your opinion, be honest in a caring, supportive way. Be available when needed: Sure, you’ve got your own hectic schedule and commitments, but try to be available to the bride-to-be when she needs you. When setting up fittings for bridesmaid dresses, for example, it may help for you to give the bride a selection of times that would work best for you. Then, honor the commitments that you’ve made to her. These are only some of the many qualities of a best friend, of course, but they are some of the most important. If you’re especially close to the bride-to-be, she very well may choose you as a bridesmaid or maid/matron of honor. If so, then there are specific bridesmaid duties / maid of honor duties that go along with those positions.

Photo by Coppersmith Photography

What are traditional bridesmaid duties?

Put the bride's needs first. As a bridesmaid, you’ll want to make everything run as smoothly and calmly as possible, and to help everything be as enjoyable as possible for the bride. This is the bride’s moment in the sun! This means helping when the bride wants and needs your help and stepping back when she prefers to handle something herself. Free up your schedule as much as possible to be available for dress fittings, bridal showers and other events. Be on time and be cheerful. If you love the bridesmaid dresses that she has chosen, praise them and let her know. If you don’t care for the dresses all that much, simply smile and be a friend to the bride. If she asks for advice on color themes, reception music and so forth, give her helpful feedback. If she has already made her choices, don’t second guess them. Share relevant information with wedding attendees, letting them know where the bride is registered for gifts, and be friendly and helpful at the wedding reception.

Photo by: Staja Studios

What are traditional maid of honor duties?

If you’re the maid of honor, then you’ll participate in the activities performed by the bridesmaids – and more. You’re the liaison between the bride and her bridesmaids. So, pass along information, such as fitting times for bridesmaid dresses, and contact them when it’s time to plan a bridal shower and/or a bachelorette party. When planning the bridal shower, remember that you are creating memories of a lifetime for the bride. If, for example, the bride and groom met at a baseball game – or at the ballet or opera or while volunteering for a community project – then you can have the favors and theme of the shower reflect that. If the bride is environmentally conscious, then be sure NOT to use throw-away plates and tableware. If you’re having games at the shower, personalize them for the bride, which is something that can be done on even a small budget. You’ll probably help the bride choose bridesmaid dresses. If so, be her supporter and organizer, marking down style numbers of dresses that she likes, as well as the names of the colors that she prefers. Let her focus on the joy of selecting while you take care of the details. Be there for your best friend. Listen to her as she talks through where the reception might take place, choosing the best caterer, florist and so forth, registering for gifts, addressing invitations and figuring out the seating arrangements. Soothe her when she starts to panic about all that needs done and help her organize, plan – and most of all, enjoy – the entire journey.

What do you think are the most important qualities a bridesmaid or maid of honor should have? Are there any qualities of a best friend you wouldn't want your bridesmaid or maid of honor to show during your wedding planning?

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