Godzilla has nothing on brides planning a perfect wedding. It’s the last thing brides want to be. But the obsession to create that perfect day can turn even the most docile bride into bridezilla!
Having come across brides that run the range of mini-bridezilla to wrath-of-God unreasonable, we noticed that bridezillas can be so misunderstood. See, weddings are more than just a union of two people. You are talking about a merging of families, lives, and cultures. Add planning
, money, and family politics to the mix, and you got yourself the formula to breed the perfect wedding monster.
Here’s why we think that you should own it.
Embrace Your Inner Bridezilla—You’ve Earned It
It is OK to be stressed out because of the wedding. After all, this isn’t your everyday event! You are talking life change here! It’s a change of status, a change of pace. If your inner bridezilla is rearing its ugly head, there’s no need to hide it. Acknowledging the pressure can actually help you reduce stress.
What is your “bridezilla side?”
The term “bridezilla” hasn’t found its way into mainstream dictionaries just yet. But you and I know exactly just what they are. A bridezilla can be one ridiculous, spoiled woman who thinks she’s the center of the solar system. She expects nothing but perfection and assumes that everyone should drop everything to aid her royal ogre-ness. (Well, that’s just us, but you do get the picture.) It’s such a bad rep. And we get it.
What if we told you that there are right ways and wrong ways to be a bridezilla? What if we told you that its natural to grow those proverbial fangs and claws as your wedding draws near because of planning stress?
What gives me the right to be a bridezilla?
There are a number of reasons that give bridezillas the right to be what they are. We've got lots of good reasons for you to own your bridezilla side and ride it out until it dies.
Reason #1: Weddings are expensive, and you’re paying for it
If you pay for it, you own it. Weddings are notoriously expensive. Even DIY celebrations don’t come on the cheap. If you’ve pinched pennies and worked your ass off to achieve the wedding of your fantasies, no one should be judging you. Weddings don’t come with instruction manuals. For as long as you aren’t breaking any law (religious or otherwise), then the sky’s the limit and it's yours to control.
Reason #2: Wedding planning involves tons of major and minor details to consider
You basically know where the major cost centers are when it comes to wedding planning. The venue tops most brides’ list, followed by the wedding dress, the venue stylist, the caterer, the photographer, the bridesmaids’ dresses… The list goes on. You plan for nature (What if it rains on the day of your outdoor wedding? Or what if flight plans are delayed?) as much as you plan for family politics (Aunt Nancy should be 10 tables away from Grandpa)… Sometimes you want a little bit of drama (the fireworks should explode on every 8th beat of your wedding song, followed by aquamarine confetti…). The simplicity (or the ridiculous nature of it all), involve tons of major and minor details. And if you ask us, just the thought of thinking about it all together can trigger an anxiety attack!
Reason #3: Juggling wedding planning, as well as anything else you’ve got going on in your life, is hard!
Your wedding is a huge change in lifestyle. You change your status from single to married. You change your name. You change your documents. Perhaps you will even have to move cities and live a different persona altogether. Perhaps you are still in school or at work with deadlines and issues to address. The change alone can give non-brides anxiety.
But all these with the stress of planning a wedding?! Hello, Bridezilla!
Reason #4: Wanting your wedding to be perfect is hardly a crime
We came across this sweet princess of a bride two months before her big day. She was chill. No premonition whatsoever of the cyclops she was to become. On the day of her wedding, the weather had gone from pleasantly warm to stinking hot and humid. They were doing wedding party photos and her wedding party was dripping in sweat (and honestly just about ready to pass out!). Everyone began to make a mad dash towards the tent where air coolers and refreshments were laid out.
She threw a major tantrum all because she wanted the entire party to walk together towards the reception venue for photos’ sake. Nobody could have done that feat in the wild mid-day sun.
Well, this is a story that guests would love to share behind her back. But come to think of it, brat aside, little Miss Tantrum just wanted a perfect wedding. The outburst was uncalled for. But her wanting perfect photos is hardly a crime.
Reason #5: You only get to be a bridezilla once!
When you plan to do anything just once, you want that single chance you get to be perfect and flawless. Magazines, blogs, movies, and Hollywood tell you that. What they don’t tell you is that “perfect” doesn’t exist. Kudos if you know anyone who has pulled off their perfect wedding down to a T. But what you don’t know is that mayhem gets real behind the scenes (last minute plans that don’t work, tasks that don’t get done in spite of agreements…). People just make the most out of it. Because… how else are you going to deal with it, right?
How do you fully own your bridezilla side?
When the bridezilla in you rears its ugly head, here are a few tips to keep things under control:
Step #1: Acknowledge that wedding planning has been stressing you out
The first step to solving any problem is to recognize that it exists. Quit denying that one of your bridesmaids’ auburn hair shade drives you nuts. You can’t solve a problem by pretending there isn’t one. Admit to yourself that a problem exists.
Step #2: Acknowledge that you probably talk about wedding planning with anyone and everyone quite often
The best way to piss a person off is to lock anyone in a room with an obsessed bride-to-be. She loves to talk about her wedding plans including all the details that don’t really matter. (Why the Hora, a traditional Jewish wedding dance, should begin at 7:15 and not 7:20 in the evening, for example).
Step #3: Realize that it is normal to react to stress and pressure
When you are worked up in anger because of stress, there is always some feeling behind it. Often, it’s the feeling of being fearful, pressured, and overwhelmed. It’s the normal knee-jerk reaction to stress and pressure. Look at the feelings behind it then take steps to de-escalate them. Perhaps, you have deadlines piling up at work. Maybe, you aren’t getting along with the people who matter to you the most. Is your home a chaotic environment? Do you feel pain in certain areas of your body? Identify your environmental stressors and identify ways to limit them. Get help if you need it.
Step #4: Realize that you’ve earned the right to be a bridezilla!
Bridezillas aren’t likable. But realize that you’ve earned the right to be one. Sure, the future Mrs. may have gone a little overboard by expecting (and demanding!) free labor from her bridesmaids and groomsmen. For example, demanding that they help in setting up the tents five hours before the wedding – yes this happened!). You deserve help, of course. But ask for it nicely!
Step #5: Practice stress management frequently to properly pamper yourself and ease the wedding planning process
Taking a quick break as your wedding day draws near may be the last thing on your mind. But do consider that this could be one of the better decisions you will make. Modern day brides have a lot on their plate. They often work full-time jobs while fulfilling so many other duties in other aspects. We’ve seen brides plan their weddings in grad school or even while in the process of applying for a house loan. We want to let brides know that stress management exists! Click here
for some of our best tips!
What’s the right way to be a bridezilla?
For as long as you treat everyone with respect (AKA not losing your shit), and provided that you ask nicely, people would be more than happy to go out of their way to accommodate (your sometimes unusual) requests.
The worst bridezillas throw epic tantrums and hissy fits (that could possibly make you the talk of the town for decades to come!).
The best bridezillas (or shall we say, brideCHILLas are aware that they are stressed out but are able to practice stress management to tone down the ogre.
Have you had your fair share bridezillas? Have you been one yourself? Share your stories with us! We’d love to hear from you.