How to Get your Groom Involved

How to Get your Groom Involved.

Some grooms feel that once the proposal is over, their job is done; all that’s left to do is to show up for the ceremony.  Well, I have some news for those grooms: the proposal is just the beginning. As a bride, you are planning the one of the biggest events of both your lives and as much as you would maybe like it to be, it is not just about you.  It’s your groom’s day, too, and we know his opinion and ideas are important to you.  If your groom’s enthusiasm is not as obvious as yours, there are a few ways that you can get him involved in the wedding planning without starting the third World War.

Be excited... Together!

One of the first things to remember when trying to get more of your groom’s involvement is that even though he may not be out buying wedding magazines and reading up on the latest wedding trends, he is just as excited about the wedding as you are.  But, unlike you, he probably hasn’t given his wedding a single thought.  You may have never planned a wedding before, but ideas of what your wedding would be like have circled your mind for as long as you can remember.  These ideas and plans are foreign territory for him.  Before you get too startled by his interest (or lack thereof), remember that this is a completely new experience for both of you.  If he wasn’t excited about it, you wouldn’t have that beautiful ring on your finger in the first place.

Talk it out.

Starting out by having an honest conversation about what you both want out of your wedding will help you both understand what it is you expect from each other throughout this planning experience.  If he knows how important his opinion is to you and that you want him to enjoy the entire wedding, too, he will be more likely to help you out.  Ask him which aspects of the wedding he is most interested in and see if there is a way for you to hand those off to him.  It will make your list of to-dos lighter, and no matter how big or small those tasks are, it’s the fact that he’s taking charge of some of the planning with you that counts.

Honeymoon plans.

An area of the wedding planning that many grooms are good at is the honeymoon.  I’ve heard many stories of how grooms take it upon themselves to plan the honeymoon and keep it a surprise for their bride-to-be.  This adds an element of surprise for you as the bride and takes a huge task off of your to do list.  He’ll appreciate the trust you give him and you’ll appreciate the romantic surprise he has in store for you--a win-win situation.

The true way to his heart:

There’s an old saying that goes, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” If this is true, another area of wedding planning that will get your groom excited is the food.  Ask him what type of food he envisions at the wedding and if any wedding food he has had previously sticks out in his mind.  This is probably one of the most memorable aspects of the wedding for your guests and you want the food to be something you are both happy with.  Be sure to tell him about the food tasting day with the caterer—a surefire way to get him involved!

Get him ready to dance the night away with you.

The type of music you play at your reception and dance will set the tone for your entire evening.  Asking your hubby-to-be what type of music he would like to hear at the dance, along with your own preferences, will ensure that you’ll have an a well-rounded mix of music for everyone to enjoy at the dance.   By getting an idea of his reception music preference, you can decide if whether a DJ or band is appropriate.  This is a great way to get your groom involved and the reception music is an area he will be more than happy to share his opinion about. Getting your groom involved in wedding planning shouldn’t be like pulling teeth, but if it turns out to be more challenging than you had hoped, try to work in some of the tactics we mentioned above.  Asking his opinion on the topics that matter to him the most are going to be better received than some of the other aspects of the wedding.  Ease him in gently to this whole wedding thing and both of you will be happier in the end.

For more wedding planning advice and answers to tough questions, check out My Wedding Chat.

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