Wedding season is coming to a close, which means that the holiday season is fast approaching. One of the toughest newlywed questions is: How do we split up the holidays? Two sets of families and holiday traditions have just been combined, so it’s no wonder that there are a few things to be sorted out. First and foremost, don’t stress out! We’ve compiled some advice for newlyweds on splitting up the holidays without splitting up their marriage.

Photo Courtesy of Erin Johnson Photography

First, discuss holiday traditions with your husband or wife.

If your wedding is just around the corner, discuss holiday plans before your big day. The holidays will be here before you know it, and you don’t want any surprises. If you’re newlyweds, don’t let your holiday planning ruin the honeymoon! This isn’t a competition; it’s your new life together. Your families have become one, so there is no such thing as a ‘winner.’ Take the time to sit down and answer your newlywed questions, like which holidays and traditions are the most important to each of you.

Marriage advice for newlyweds means more from family.

Once you have discussed your plans as a couple, you can start to reach out to your families. One great tip for your holiday planning process is to get advice from your parents. Not only have they been through this before, but it will gently remind them of how stressful splitting up the holidays can be. Once they’ve answered a few of your newlywed questions, reassure them that when you know the plan, they’ll know the plan. An important piece of advice for newlyweds is not to commit to a plan before confirming with everyone. Don’t say yes to the first family that calls, but don’t wait too long to decide either. Keeping everyone informed keeps everyone happy.

Photos Courtesy of Staja Studios (Left) & Jeff Loves Jessica (Right)

Our advice for newlyweds is to know your options.

Depending on where your families live, there are a few different ways to split up the holidays:

1. If both of your families live close by: Remember when you and your new spouse discussed your favorite holiday traditions? Create a holiday schedule so that each of you can take part in your favorite family activities. If the annual flag football game is your spouse’s favorite and you can’t miss your mom’s turkey dinner, then makes sure to get to both events. You may have to spend Christmas Eve with one family and Christmas Day with the other, or split up the eight days of Hanukkah evenly. Whatever you celebrate, just remember to keep it fair and to remain flexible.
2. If one or both families live far away: Here’s where things can get a little tricky. The most popular way to solve the problem is with the classic promise, “We’ll be with you next year.” Your families may be disappointed, but they will understand. One thing to keep in mind is ill or ailing family members. If this could be the last holiday with a loved one, you should try to make them a priority.

If you still don’t have answers to your newlywed questions about splitting up the holidays, remember that you can host them yourself! Invite both families and then you’re guilt-free. Is hosting not an option? Stay home with the new family you have created! Have an intimate, romantic holiday with your new spouse, and create new holiday traditions with each other. However you decide to split up the holidays, our advice for newlyweds is to stay flexible, remain calm, and always remember what the holidays are really about.

How did you split up holidays and holiday traditions with your new spouse? Share your advice for newlyweds struggling with the decision below!  

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