I have heard horrible bridezilla stories. You know, the brides who kick you out of their wedding because you don’t plan their bachelorette party to their expectations, or value their wedding festivities over your twenty-year friendship. The ones who expect their wedding party to spend hundreds on dinners, gifts, parties, and dresses that they’re probably never going to wear again. The ones who expect bridesmaids to attend multiple showers and pre-wedding events without any regard for their time. The ones who expect their ‘maids to have just as much wedding stress as they do. Here’s a little bit of advice for the brides out there: Although your wedding is a huge event in your life, it’s not the only thing going on in your bridesmaids’ lives.

Photo by Kate Bentley Photo

I definitely am not perfect, and I tend to obsess over my wedding to the point where I’m sure my close friends wonder if I think about anything else! However, it is super important to me that when those close to us think about our wedding, they don’t feel stretched or overwhelmed, either financially or from a time commitment standpoint. I want them to remember my wedding, not a collection of bridezilla stories. Here are some of the tactics that I am trying to use to make sure my girls feel appreciated and valued.

My bridesmaids in their Kennedy Blue dresses: (From right to left) Spencer, Sydney, Chloe, and Addison

My advice for the bride: Show your ladies some love.

1. Ask for their opinions and present options.

Especially when it comes to what they are wearing. After all, it’s important that all of your girls feel beautiful and comfortable--it’s going to be a long day! The Wedding Shoppe’s Kennedy Blue line is amazing, and it’s what we decided as a group to go with. The girls are choosing their own necklines in comfy, breezy, feminine, blush-colored chiffon that will look and feel great on everyone.

2. Don’t forget that your bridesmaids have lives outside of your wedding.

Even though you’re probably dealing with a load of wedding stress, your ‘maids have other things going on in their lives. Make it a point to have conversations with your wedding party that have absolutely nothing to do with your wedding. How are their dating lives? How did her sister’s move go? What are they up to this weekend? How is Grandpa feeling? This will also help ensure that your relationships with your bridesmaids last well beyond your wedding day!

3. Show sensitivity to their limitations.

Do you have bridesmaids that are stretched financially? The worst bridezilla stories usually include empty wallets. Consider covering hotels for your wedding or even a dress or two. Do your bridesmaids have a ton of after work/weekend/family commitments already? Don’t demand their attendance at your pre-wedding appointments. I try and invite everyone to whatever events I have going on (bridesmaid dresses shopping, venue walk-throughs, florist appointments, etc.), but I ensure them that it is always an option and not mandatory. (I bet they’re not going to skip out on your cake tasting appointments though!)

4. Demonstrate graciousness.

Your girls are definitely happy for you, but make sure you appreciate how much time and attention they are giving to your wedding. They’re taking on some of the wedding stress for you, and they shouldn’t be repaid with a handful of bridezilla stories. Show your ladies you love them; hand written thank you notes and heart-felt hugs go a long way! Plan on – Dani

Do you have any advice for the brides dealing with wedding stress? Share your tips!