10 Things Your Wedding Guests Don't Care About

It's a universal truth – wedding planning is stressful. With an endless list of things to do, from the décor to the dress to the catering and everything in between, the stress can pile on at lightning-fast speeds. One minute, you're trying to choose between roses and ranunculus. Before you know it, you've fallen down the Pinterest hole, scrolling between 19 slightly different shades of pink petals while stress-eating wedding cake samples.

That said, there are more than a few items on your wedding checklist that guests pay far less attention to than you think. Instead of driving yourself crazy over the teeniest details, save yourself the headache (and probably a few bucks, too) by knowing what matters to your guests, and more importantly, what doesn't. Read on for our handy list of wedding details that guests don't really care about – plus a few that they do!

*This post contains affiliate links through Etsy. While we can receive a commission through these links, opinions are entirely our own.

List of Things Wedding Guest Don’t Care About

Wedding Invitations

I hate to break it to you, but these little suckers end up in the recycling bin faster than you can say, “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Sure, it’s the very first introduction to your wedding, but a beautiful invitation is a beautiful invitation. No one is judging your choice of paper stock, ornamentation or font (just trust me on this one). 


The average couple spends $445 on their wedding invites. Don’t stress about your invites and instead find an affordable option that fits your budget. There are tons of retailers that would surprise you with their collections of wedding invitations, such as Costco, Target, Walmart, Shutterfly, or Etsy.

On Etsy, you can even pay a flat rate for an instant download, and then print as many as you need. The invitations featured below are super affordable while also being super cute so you can definitely find a middle ground here. 

YellowStudioShop Wedding Invitations

Wedding Invitations | YellowStudioShop

Ceremony Programs

Same explanation as wedding invitations (but with a far shorter lifespan)


Programs are super cute, but if you want to skip them and save the money, your guests won’t care. Instead, create a few DIY chalkboards or wooden signs that have your schedule or other necessary details listed on them. Have a few of these around the ceremony and reception site, and your guests will get a general idea.

EAKdeals Chalkboard Sign

Chalkboard Sign | EAKdeals

Wedding Guest Book

Guest books can get pricey, and the cost can skyrocket once you start piling on the works. Please do yourself a favor and keep it simple, or go ahead and nix it altogether. Your guests won’t miss it, and in the age of digital photography, you’ll have tons of tons of snaps of your family and friends sharing your special day. If that doesn’t beat a scrawled name on a page (or a smudgy thumbprint), I don’t know what does.


If you decide to go with a guestbook, create something simple. A cute DIY board like the one pictured below is charming, cheap, and something you can display after the wedding. Your guests won’t care that you made it yourself.

I once attended a wedding where the couple had one of their engagement photos framed and then removed the glass so we could sign the paper matte inside of the frame. It was super simple, and they have it hanging in their living room now.

EastInADay Wedding Guest Book

Guest Book | EastInADay


Now don’t get me wrong; floral arrangements are almost always a welcome addition to your chosen venue and can inject the space with a bit of your style. But while no one will argue that golden dip-dyed roses aren’t gorgeous, they’re also a total waste of time and money.

Trust us, and no one will notice the lack of designer blooms and your artfully arranged farmer’s market flowers will be just as striking – at a fraction of the price. Guests will appreciate the thoughtful, fragrant flourishes no matter what, regardless of whether you’ve chosen exotic blooms from far-flung corners of the world or locally grown greenery.


Instead of spending a fortune on fancy designer flowers, visit your local farmer’s market or florist. Your guests will have no idea where your flowers came from, so why spend all the extra money? On the morning of my cousin’s wedding, she had her bridesmaids pick up all her bulbs from Costco. And you know what? They looked great! Or you can even get faux flowers that last a lifetime!

KissKissFlorals Wedding Flowers

Wedding Flowers | KissKissFlorals

Table Linens

Wedding guests, don’t pay much mind to your tablecloths. As long as I don’t have to eat my halibut off of a dirty old burlap sack, I’ll be just fine, thank you very much. Specialty linens can get costly, so save yourself the buck and choose something simple and functional that blends seamlessly with your décor – no muss, no fuss.


Save the money and choose something simple.

DecoVita Table Linens

Table Linens | DecoVita

Wedding Dress

This one may be a bit controversial, but I think that blowing your bridal budget on a fancy-schmancy gown to wear it once and never again is less than practical. It’s not what you wear but how you wear it, so as long as you’re comfortable and feel like your best, most beautiful self, well, that’s good enough for me.

That’s not to say that guests won’t remember an outlandish or ill-fitting dress, but if the bride is rocking a beautifully tailored gown that makes her look and feel like the goddess she is, guests won’t bat an eyelash at the lack of designer label.


Before you panic, let me clarify and say that your guests care about your dress. What they won’t think twice about is the price or designer of your dress. So don’t take out a small loan to buy a dress with a fancy designer label that you hope will impress your guests.

Instead, find a dress that fits you and your personality well. Shop our sample sales, clearance, and online to find a perfectly beautiful dress that won’t break your bank. You could even wear a second-hand wedding dress, and no one would know the difference. Check out our large selection of bridal gowns under $1,000!

Casablanca 2063 Wedding Dress

Wedding Dress | Casablanca 2063

First Dance

Short of a live performance by Adele to provide the soundtrack, no one will remember your first dance. A nervous, shaky, overly choreographed routine may be what sticks with them. Instead of the weeks of rehearsal required to try and fix your two left feet, it’s more important just to be yourself and enjoy the moment.

Tackle a few moves that you feel 100% comfortable performing, no matter how simple, and watch the pressure melt away. Great for you, great for your guests and great for your wedding photos - Everyone wins!


Smile, relax, and have fun. If you don’t feel confident in your dancing skills, be able to laugh at yourself because your guests will appreciate that way more than a nervous, awkward dance. This is a moment for you and your new spouse, so enjoy it!

Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding Kacey Wyrick Photography

Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding | Kacey Wyrick Photography

Wedding Cake

Towering layers, handcrafted sugar paste designs, 24-carat gold motifs. The painstakingly detailed wedding cake is undoubtedly gorgeous, but guests won’t miss those details if you opt for an elegantly simple confection instead. As long as it tastes delicious, you’ve got a guaranteed crowd-pleaser (and let’s be honest, it will, because of CAKE).

Speaking of tasty treats, a dessert bar is a great option as well. Swap the cake for an array of equally delicious (and comparatively affordable) cupcakes, macarons, or ice cream sundaes, and guests will be just as pleased.


Get creative with the cake topper. This is a way to personalize the wedding, add to the theme of the wedding and MORE!

Wedding Cake Topper RawKrft

Wedding Cake Topper | Rawkrft

Bouquet Toss

This tradition has become somewhat archaic in recent years, with many brides opting to skip it altogether. Do it or don’t do it – it all depends on your vision – but rest assured that if you opt-out, it’s likely that no one will miss it. Besides, less time assembling the masses for the ceremonial pitch means more time on the dance floor! 


Do it or don't, but have fun and don't stress about it. Also, don't feel like you have to use real flowers for the toss!

RoseandRebel Faux Flowers

Faux Flowers | RoseandRebel

Wedding Favors

An edible sweet treat that guests can enjoy in the afterglow of the wedding as they share memories of your spectacular soirée – well, I can’t argue with you there. But engraved champagne flutes, customized candles, and other novelty items are forgettable for guests and an added expense for the bride and groom.

A fancy soap might seem like an excellent idea for the beautiful soaping-loving couple, but for most of your guests, it’s the adult equivalent of getting raisins on Halloween. One in 50 will love it; the other 49 will dump them on your lawn.


Take the money you had set aside for favors and donate those dollars to your charity of choice. A sweet note will let guests know that a donation has been made instead of those takeaway gifts, a gesture that any wedding guest would be thrilled to support. If you still want to give out favors: pick something sweet and simple.

Food is always a great idea here. Otherwise, I’ve seen couples skip the favors and opt for just the photo booth instead. Guests usually love these things, and taking pictures is a fun memory for everyone.

ChocolatesUnlimited Wedding Favors

Wedding Favors | ChocolatesUnlimited

With that, we hope to help alleviate some of the stress of wedding planning by helping you not sweat the small stuff.

What Do Guests Care Most About?


It goes without saying that guests will be overjoyed to watch the happy couple proclaim their love and be joined in wedded bliss – I mean, it’s kind of the whole point – but the crowd may start to get restless during a long, drawn-out ceremony.

One of the most common guest complaints is having to sit through a too-long production, so keep it short and sweet (roughly 30 minutes or less) for a happy clan.

Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding Taylor Hendrickson Photography

Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding | Taylor Hendrickson Photography


Enjoying a decadent meal with loved ones is a treat for guests, so make sure your food choices are crowd-pleasers. A fantastic meal will keep those good vibes going, but a bad one could really bring down the mood. In addition, be sure to offer options for vegetarians or those with common allergies, like gluten and nuts. 

Tonya Hjort Photography Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding

Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding | Tonya Hjort Photography


Weddings and booze go together like peanut butter and jelly. Bottom line: Keep the drinks flowing, because there’s nothing that wedding guests hate more than the liquor well running dry. Forgoing the fully stocked bar is fine; an edited menu of Champagne, wine, beer, and one or two specialty cocktails will keep guests in high spirits all night long.

Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding Kelly Morin Photography

Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding | Kelly Morin Photography


The tunes will be going strong from the first arrivals through the last dance, so make sure your music list is on point, especially once guests start hitting the dance floor. Skip the chicken dance and opt for fun, contemporary tunes that everyone is sure to know and love to unite the crowd and get people moving.

Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding Karen Feder Photography

Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding | Karen Feder Photography


Common sense is the key here. Skip the outdoor venue during the hottest, most humid days of summer, and likewise, choose an indoor spot during the fall and winter months when temps may be chilly.

Outside of the climate, a unique venue is something they’ll also care about, particularly if the journey to your wedding is a trek for some of your far-flung guests. A seriously cool spot is much more of a draw than, say, Hotel Ballroom #3, don’t you think? 

Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding Kelsey James Photography

Wedding Shoppe Real Wedding | Kelsey James Photography


Hopefully, this guide was able to put some wedding planning details into perspective. Wedding planning is SO stressful that being able to brush aside some of those worries can be a huge relief. Sometimes it's easy to forget that your wedding day is exactly that: YOUR wedding.

Instead of stressing about what you think your guests want, do what you want. Remember that your wedding day is above all about you and your spouse and the love you share, so take a deep breath and think about what is actually important. Good luck!  

Leave a comment

April 14, 2021 16:16

thx for the info I’ll use it when I plan my wedding

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March 06, 2020 10:38

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January 03, 2020 16:27

A wonderful Listing. But I think the table decoration is also very important, right?

January 03, 2020 16:29

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October 30, 2019 13:39

You really should have more consideration for other vendors in the industry. Posting a list that slams items that other vendors work so hard to create for the right client is rude, inconsiderate and low. You think degrading other vendors work is worth a few clicks to your website? I think I’ll write an article about how everyone should buy their dresses on Poshmark instead of buying from a retailer. Shame on you.

Formerly married
October 28, 2019 11:41

I’m not popular with people, no. But here’s my two cents.

1. Food allergies/preferences.
We tried to make as many people as happy as we could. I don’t eat a lot of meat (pescaterian). We had a thanksgiving meal and NO children’s menu, as I told my ex mother in law that children need to learn to eat what is in front of them or not at all, like we used to do.
It’s not that I don’t respect that others have different needs and preferences, but you can’t win. Ask any parent and they’ll tell you that it’s hard enough to make something that everyone in their own family will eat, much less that 50-250 will all enjoy.

2. If you “need” alcohol to enjoy a wedding, please don’t come at all. Thanks.

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May 16, 2019 09:02

This is certainly a thought provoking list. Helpful in regards to what is important and what is not when planning a wedding. Thank you for sharing and pointing out how to avoid certain unnecessary costs.

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Katrina Moore
May 16, 2019 09:02

Hi. I recently got engaged and a wedding date in 2020 has been set. I’ve been to many weddings in my years. I’ve seen the stress of planning a large wedding and trying to do what’s “fashionable” and "in’ has on the bride, her parents and even others. We aren’t a young couple and have lived in the real world. I’ve been researching for how to throw a nice wedding on a budget and after speaking to people I know who’ve planned and have paid for their weddings. Many have told me what the would’ve added or even totally deleted or not changed at all. We’ve decided that based on our personalities that less is more, we stand out already. We’ve decided on a small church wedding with a small wedding party with a reception to follow. Our wedding party will consist of my fiance and myself, his best man and my maid of honor and my boxer is going to be our ring bearer. I don’t see us paying for a huge lavish wedding. We plan on keeping our guest to no more than 120 or below. I’ve decided to cut the save the date stuff, just an invitation and a RSVP card with the postage attached. I’ve also decided to cut “wedding favors”, programs, and the guest book. I’ve opted for an option that is a wall hang that our guest can sign and it wall hang on the wall in our home. I’m not spending money on fresh flowers but for life-like real feel flowers with touches of jewels. I’ve recruited help on making my decor items for both the church and the reception area. I’m not having a lavish meal as the people we know are down to earth people. We aren’t serving alcohol as the location of the reception location sells alcohol but we will have several bottles of our favorite Crown Royal to do a celebration shot with our guests. I’m not knocking those who have $10,000+ to spend on a wedding but we don’t see the necessity of spending tens of thousands.

Katrina Moore
May 16, 2019 09:02

I agree keeping up with the Jones on a wedding is unreal. The money spent on unnecessary items could be used for the honeymoon or go towards the downpayment on a home.

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May 16, 2019 09:02

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May 16, 2019 09:01

I agree with most of this list! People waste money on stupid stuff but then decide to charge for a drink. Nobody needs a program or useless party favour the has the bridge and grooms initials! I also agree that the bouquet toss and garter throw are silly too

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May 16, 2019 09:01

YAY! Thank you for making it sound so possible. I tell my family all the time my budget is $5k and everyone has the same reaction – understanding, proud but ultimately concerned. Just hearing people have low budget – happy weddings keeps me motivated on my goals! Thanks for the share.

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May 16, 2019 09:01

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May 16, 2019 09:00

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May 16, 2019 09:00

OMG PEOPLE! Take from this list what you want! I am hoping my guests just want to share our special day with us! If no one gets sick from the food due to allergies, their rear ends don’t hurt from sitting all day, or are bored out of their minds, I will be calling it a success! Yes, it is my wedding, I can do inexpensive alternatives and still have my guests not wish their party favor was a gun!
All the people in our lives will accept us because we tried to share our day with them, not because they need a dinner theater experience! Bad comments here made me more stressed out, so “thank you” for contributing to my planning in a bad way. Your negativity was not helpful. Thank you, for this column, next one shouldn’t have available comments because their opinions don’t matter to me! If you could just remove all the comments, it would make wedding planning a lot less stressful. Thanks again

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May 16, 2019 09:00

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Laughing myself silly over this article and the responses to it. I’m that bride!!! (Sort of) Wedding in two weeks. Second hand dress, not doing a first dance (cos it would just be cringe-worthy watching us staggering around the floor) or a bouquet toss (because I have spent so much on the flowers!!). I did spend a fortune on the invitations, the food, the booze and the DJ. Beautful invitations were our way of giving the finger to emails. I love to get an envelope, a real letter or card in my mailbox, and we thought our guests would appreciate that as well, and they did, so many commented not on how beautiful they were, but just on how exciting it was to get a big, satisfyingly fat envelope in the mailbox. They also got instructions about recycling the cards. We have got small pots of locally grown honey and miniature dippers as favours, just with small tags saying thank you and the date of the wedding. The cake is enormous, but my brother-in-law to be baked two layers of it as a wedding gift to us. I am the runaway bride, been engaged four times but never made it down the aisle, so this will be a first!! I have had a lot of fun planning this wedding, spending far too much money probably, but my priorities are very clear – I’m getting married to the best man I know, my best friend and if the wedding turns into a big steaming pile, I couldnt care less. We are both involved in search and rescue, surf lifesaving and we have both served in the military, so we have made a charitable wedding register, instead of gifts we have no need for, we ask people to donate in our names to charities that support our work in those areas. Oh, and if you are so inclined, go to sheltered workshops or charities who make decorations for work experience for people less fortunate than you – if you are going to spend thousands, spend ethically I say. We have a lot to thank our respective families for and this is one way of doing exactly that, by having a big party and sharing our love and happiness with them for the day. Enjoy enjoy enjoy, do whatever brings you the most pleasure and does the least harm to others and share some of that love around!! Hilarious that people think the $$ you spend equates to the longevity of the marriage – if that is true we are going to be married for eternity!!!

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May 16, 2019 09:00

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Tracey Carter
May 16, 2019 09:00

Totally agree! Simple is best! I remember more about the wedding that were less fuss and just down to earth caring about their guests!

May 16, 2019 09:00

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May 16, 2019 08:59

This is actually a pretty good list.

May 16, 2019 08:59

I will amend my previous post to add though that your wedding need not be an extravagant affair.

Your wedding is YOURS-not your friends.

May 16, 2019 08:59

I don’t care about the ceremony. I skip attending when I can. They can be really sappy and embarrassing. Also, not a churchy type so much of the God part is lost on me. Ceremony goes to the top of the list of things I wish were not part of the whole wedding celebration. Keep it to family only.

May 16, 2019 08:59

Silliest article EVER! If you think your guests take no notice or care over the things you listed then perhaps you need new friends.
The biggest event of your life and your “friends” overlook or don’t care about the preparation you’ve made for their pleasure and enjoyment?

May 16, 2019 08:59

Love the list too! I’m in the planning stages now and this really helps! What is really important :) thank you!

May 16, 2019 08:59

There is a lot of good info here. I do my research and bargain buy everything humanly possible. Planning my own wedding for this summer. I used Vistaprint for invitations, RSVP cards and enclosure cards – total spent was $290. My dress is absolutely beautiful from Amazon for $149 and alterations will cost $250. Shoes for $39. Dexin Floral has real touch flowers (amazingly real!) and doing all our flowers (bouquets, centerpieces, boutineers – you name it – for $300… and they will all be useful for years to come instead of real flowers that die or silk flowers that look totally fake! My biggest expense was venue and vendors… found a package deal for videographer, DJ and Photographer through ThePros.com (pick your own people, every photo taken is yours at no extra cost – no “photo packages”, which is where photographers usually get ya).
As for alcohol… a “cash bar”… let people pay for their own if they want it. I paid $100 for the bartender.
So… I see a lot of nasty comments on here … but for those of you who are planning an elegant huge wedding like I am, this article is full of many truths and the parts that don’t reflect what you want out of your own vision you can just pass over.

May 16, 2019 08:59

I just have to say, all ya’ll are being ridiculous when you say this is a terrible list. If you don’t like the announcement and are judging them for TINY DETAILS on the happiest day of the couple’s lives’, then don’t go. No one wants judgy asshats at their happy event. Or, keep your negativity to yourselves! This is the couple’s first time planning a wedding it’s not going to be perfection to you but it may be to them. I love this list because it’s helping me ground myself in the midst of planning a wedding. Yay for helpful lists and weddings!

May 16, 2019 08:59

This is beyond perfect!!! I am marrying my high school sweetheart after reconnecting many years later and I now feel at peace about planning my wedding to a man that has never left my heart. Let the calm planning begin… : )) Thank you sooo much!!

May 16, 2019 08:59

Love this list!

When we got married, we did DIY invitations (if I could do it over I would email!).
We had pretty basic flowers, arranged stunningly by the owner of the venue. He even set some in balls that hung from the ceiling – it looked like a fairy-tail!
My dress was made by a friend of my mom’s, who happened to run a lucrative side-business sowing bridal and prom gowns (lucky me!).
Instead of a guest book, we handed out blank cards, on which the guests wrote their messages. We had these inserted in the back our wedding photo-book, along with photos of the guests. Honestly – this is my favorite part of the photo-book!
Instead of an over-priced cake, we had a pretty stack of boxes with artisanal chocolate truffles – these also doubled as guest favors.
We skipped the ceremony – only one short speech by my darling hubby, no toasts, no bouquet throwing, no cake cutting, no choreographed details. In fact, nothing at all was choreographed, and nothing was rehearsed. That reduced the stress, because there was nothing to get wrong.
The venue was basic but the chapel was gorgeous, the guest list small and the food delicious, and the evening was simply a celebration of our love and the start of our life together.
And even now, 9 years later, guests still talk about how much they enjoyed our wedding.

If I could do it over again, the only thing I would change would be to spend less time with the photographer, and more with my guests.

May 16, 2019 08:59

Love your suggestion list. Our son is marrying this summer. Would it be appropriate to send invitations via e-mail? This way guests could download to save the date or print if they wish a hard copy. No expense to order, print, postage, etc. Tks

May 16, 2019 08:59

I am definitely in the “people have missed the point camp”. I attended 5 weddings in the past year alone and am planning my own, which means I’m drowning in wedding websites and Pinterest. These list reads strictly as “if you are looking for a place to spend money, you may want to focus on these things”. I watched my best friend STRESS outrageously over her wedding (I was MOH) because she didn’t know what to do about favors (settled on a CD), picking colors of things, how not to blow the budget on her dress, “what if the guests don’t like ____”, etc. She could probably tell you know that none of it really mattered AS MUCH AS SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD. Overall, everyone had a wonderful time, the ceremony and reception were beautiful (we made her arrangements and the bouquets), the food and drink were good and plentiful. As many others pointed out, it’s more the feel of it that most recall, not specifically which designer made her dress or whether she should have spent money on roses vs. hydrangea. This list helped remind me where I should focus my money and what is most LIKELY to create a beautiful and memorable event.
P.S. To the lady who feels the favors are required because she brought a gift, shame on you. Most couples are already forking out $10,000+ for an amazing party that you were privileged enough to be invited to, sad that you think you are owed more.

May 16, 2019 08:59

As someone with alcoholics for in-laws, I made sure there was not a drop of booze at my wedding – a decade later, not a soul cares. Thumbs down.

May 16, 2019 08:59

I was amazed that people are so rude, this is only a guideline and quite frankly I thought it was a great list. My husband and are doing a renewal this year, since we eloped, we are going to have a formal ceremony now. Great ideas and IMO, very true.

May 16, 2019 08:59

Wow, the different perspectives. My husband officiated over many weddings over the years and I watched as very nice couples went into debt to create something that lasted at most 20 minutes. Debt/money problems are a great contributor to marital disharmony. Please, please be wise in how you plan your wedding. Consider your cultural taboos and traditions. Make it nice but do not do what you think others expect. Do what you want. We all get wrapped up in doing what we think everyone expects. Several of the comments were spot on: this is about the couple beginning their lives together and having a special event to celebrate that. Make it what you want, what you can afford and not what others expect.

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May 16, 2019 08:59

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May 16, 2019 08:59

Thank you for this article. That’s all I can say. You most definitely have made this blog into something special. You clearly know what you are doing, you’ve covered so many LcagHKsMxND bases.Thanks!

Jessica Diep
May 16, 2019 08:59

Nope, have to say this is a great list.

Recently got engaged, and I already do not see the point of having programs or printed invitations when everyone has an email address. Plus it saves the earth so why not?! And honestly, I’ve been to many weddings where they don’t give out programs and I didn’t notice until the wedding finished.

And it’s always a great thing to be able to donate money to a charity instead of buying gifts that clogs up people’s homes and that they don’t use. Why not use it to support a local soup kitchen as the first altruistic act as a married couple?!

May 16, 2019 08:59

Oh please let’s not, knock the tradition out of everything.
I’m all for the reduced cost, mime was a traditional not expensive wedding.
We had a fabulous time planning it and an even better time once the day came.
Most important is to remember to take the time to enjoy it.
And tell the photographer to leave you alone for a while.

Sue S
May 16, 2019 08:59

Perhaps it’s the title of this piece that sets the mood. It HAS received a lot of feedback. Times h a v e changed. Considering where the financial means will come from isn’t touched on till some of the comments and it’s important . Emphisis seems to be that ‘the couple’ is footing the whole bill, here and on many sites, but honestly it’s very rare. The time DOES come when the talk about “how much I/we can afford to spend” and compromise begins. How far in the future the couple chooses to marry is important, too. How much time will there be? Time equals money and the amount of stress. There is a difference between excitement and stress. I am the bride’s mom. Hitting the lottery, between now and then, is the only thing that would make a difference. She’s thoughtful, considerate, understanding and thankful. My future son-in-law values that his likes, dislikes and input are equally important. Every aspect to every wedding is different. It’s that special day with family and friends, not “guests”, where YOU should be the focus and the topic of good conversation. If they love you and accept you for who you are the other 364 days of the year, why is impressing t h e m so important? There’s one last question to ask: Will everyone walk away with a sigh of relief that it turned out beautiful or post wedding stress HaViNg to recoupe money that really couldn’t be afforded?

May 16, 2019 08:58

Awesome advice. I’ll already have some help cutting costs, I have a good friend making my cake for a lot less than commercial bakeries and since I work at a craft store, discounts abound on centerpieces and flowers!

May 16, 2019 08:58

I’m SO glad I read this list! The biggest take away, here, was what was mentioned about invitations. I’m having a destination wedding in Mexico and am about to crack down on ordering my invitations. I’ve been pretty set on doing a Passport style invite, but they’re definitely spendier & I think it’d be smarter to save some some of that money for other expenses. Thank you for opening my eyes!!!

May 16, 2019 08:58

lol everyone is so heated…from a list…on a website…acting like it just completely destroyed their life to read it…I personally liked it, a lot of good points that made sense.

May 16, 2019 08:58

Wow this list has generated a ton of comments. As a woman married for 7 years, I 100% agree with this list. I’ve been to extravagent weddings that were nice but nothing special and been to very low-budget weddings that were so sweet and the couple so clearly happy that I still smile thinking about it.

May 16, 2019 08:58

Great advice – I was actually trying to work out how to cull some names off our invite list and stumbled across this blog. Gave it a read and think it is really solid advice.

Planning any event is hard and everyone has different opinions, but I think this is a nice ‘go to’ for any couple in the pre wedding phase.

Thanks Stephanie,

May 16, 2019 08:58

I’m planning my wedding now and found the point of this article to be very helpful. I have made it my goal NOT to stress at all…although, I know I will as it gets closer. My fiancee was the one who wanted a wedding…I would have been fine eloping. Remember, it is about you and your new spouse…don’t sweat the small stuff. :)

Paulette Belt
May 16, 2019 08:58

Well!! I don’t agree with the list.

Felicia Aguilar
May 16, 2019 08:58

This list reassured some of the decisions I’ve been making for my wedding. Sometimes I question whether I’m making the right choices, but you know, at the end of the day it’s about two people coming together as one and that’s all, not about how much money you spent on flowers or invitations. Obviously every brides priorities are different, but this really just reminds you that you don’t have to go above and beyond for every little detail because your guests are there to enjoy the moment with you and not judge what you did or didn’t do for the wedding.

Lucy Annandale
May 16, 2019 08:58

With all the thought and stress that goes into making the perfect day it’s nice to know we can relax about somethings even tho we think every minor detail should be just so in order for us to have the best day ever x

May 16, 2019 08:58

Most of things fit perfectly into most of my wedding plans. I already seemed to know what was important and what wasn’t. Getting married at my parents house is a great, beautiful and inexpensive location!

Lucy Annandale
May 16, 2019 08:58

With all the thought and stress that goes into making the perfect day it’s nice to know we can relax about somethings even tho we think every minor detail should be just so in order for us to have the best day ever x

May 16, 2019 08:58

Reading this is definitely helping take some stress of me. The guests will not be criticizing every part of the wedding!

Sarah Cummins
May 16, 2019 08:58

Great perspective. You can get so caught up in the detail you forget what the day is all about!

May 16, 2019 08:58

These are great tips and I really appreciate it!

May 16, 2019 08:58

Thanks for the perspective! Wedding planning can be so stressful!

Rachel Heier
May 16, 2019 08:58

I agree with this for the most part. While I feel like I splurged on my dress, no one really cares at the end of the day. As my mom and I have been planning, we have been most concerned about music, food, and drinks because that is what makes or breaks your party. Cake and invitations and programs (while fun to make them cute) doesn’t really matter because it’s all disposable. Guests care most about when to be there and how the cake tastes. Invites end up in the trash anyway.

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May 16, 2019 08:58

very interesting Article, personally i like it

May 16, 2019 08:58

As other people have said, this is not true for all weddings. I know I have not had all of these thoughts when attending a wedding.

Kaitlin Martin
May 16, 2019 08:58

What a wonderful article. Out of all the weddings I have been invited to all I remember is the ceremony, food and the dance!! Invitations?? nope no way!! I am for sure going to make Ben read this! He wants over the top invites!! No thanks!

May 16, 2019 08:58

This is actually a spot-on article for me! Thanks for the reminder! We all do not need to be married to comment on this article. The correct shoe to put ourselves in here is NOT the US (the ones who are getting married) but that of a guest. How does a guest view this? How do you, as a guest invited before to a wedding ceremony, view this?

1. Of course the details of the invitation are important, but do we need to splurge for the best invitation card? Going for the classic designs always does the trick. The guests only need to know the date, time, venue and when to be there.

2. And I am actually skipping wedding favours. I have thrown away most of the wedding favours that I have been given at the weddings that I have gone to (including some chocolates because I do not eat them). I also do not like to sign wedding guestbooks. I think some attendees have the bad habit of just signing off their name (which are not legible).

3. First dance – I have been to a few where people skip it altogether.

4. Bouquet Toss – Honestly… I know exactly how the girls waiting for the bouquet toss and who do not get the bouquet feel. So, I will skip this too.

May 16, 2019 08:58

Great ideas!

May 16, 2019 08:58

This seems to line up pretty well to where we are saving and splurging.

May 16, 2019 08:58

I always say that it’s the marriage that’s important; not the wedding! The wedding is a celebration of something much bigger :)

Chloe Brigl
May 16, 2019 08:58

Totally agree with this — just trying to feed people well, let them have fun, and show them the love!

May 16, 2019 08:58

This is pretty helpful- I agree with the dress. No point in dropping thousands on a dress you’ll only wear once, and you can get dresses made or find ones that aren’t designer that are gorgeous and much less expensive!

Megan Kalberg
May 16, 2019 08:58

I agree wholeheartedly with this article!!!

May 16, 2019 08:58

We skipped on the wedding favors and a few other things and it was great. I wish we would have skipped the bouquet/garter toss and programs too.

May 16, 2019 08:58

Good info – thanks!

May 16, 2019 08:58

So true! My favorite part is watching the ceremony and watching the bride and groom interact through the night (the food and drinks are a plus!) Whatever makes that couple happy will leave everyone smiling.

May 16, 2019 08:58

Very interesting article. I think it depends on the person and every person has a different opinion.

May 16, 2019 08:58

I think the music and drinks are something that people will remember about your wedding!! I know that I always do! :)

April Bentley
May 16, 2019 08:58


Jessica olson
May 16, 2019 08:58

I have to agree with this when attending weddings these lists are accurate… However I’m trying to remember these tips as I plan my own right now… Hard not to get caught up on the little things on details.

Emily Leininger
May 16, 2019 08:58

I have to agree with all of this! I find that the details are beautiful and I fall in love with them, but that isn’t what people are going to be talking about in a month, your open bar and delicious dinner however, that they will remember!

May 16, 2019 08:58

Love this list. I too am not surprised by all the negative comments but as I plan my wedding ALL of these keep ringing true for me.. for example, I really don’t want to do a bouquet toss. I think they’re awkward and totally kill the dancing vibes. Glad to have some reassurance that so many brides feel the same. (Plus why do I want to pay extra for a bouquet some guests will toss 2 weeks later!?)

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May 16, 2019 08:58

This is really informative post, thanks for sharing!! Would like to implement this list in my wedding.

Allen Greenky
May 16, 2019 08:58

My advice for couples planning a wedding on a budget. Think about what your family normally does for a family event like thanksgiving or Christmas etc. then step it up from that. the entire wedding industry has planned to promote/market and entice you with this whole charade of lets imagine we’re billionaires for the day. (ok why tuxedos? that’s what A list movie stars and billionaires wear or so we imagine…why limos? they are ridiculous for a wedding party, the bridesmaids have to do this duck walk in ball gowns and heels to get to the middle bench.) anyway I’m a wedding officiant and all the time I get couples who seem to think the whole perfectly written ceremony will be a magick spell that ensures their success, when the long passages of great literature is boring the audience and putting grandpa to sleep. …ceremony, get to the point. reception, its a party, food and entertainment.

May 16, 2019 08:58

AWESOME ARTICLE. Thank YOU so much for confirming my thoughts! I feel soooooo much better now and it really did alleviate the stress of things that you can let go of. The food, music, drinks, venue, etc. Well done and thank you for the much needed reminder. <3

May 16, 2019 08:58

Understandably, advice is something that is always wanted to be GIVEN, but not always TAKEN. Each person has their own opinion, and I do give credit to that, however… The wedding is for the Bride and Groom to share their ideas and desires, AND THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF THEIR LIVES TOGETHER, with the people they care most about. If a guest doesn’t like “something” then, who cares. Spend money where you want, don’t spend it where someone ‘else’ decides. Make the wedding what you want it to be, because IT’S THE DAY FOR THE BRIDE and GROOM!

May 16, 2019 08:58

This list was helpful, especially for those brides who have a budget and are not quite sure to budget. While some may disagree, which looks like there are a few judging by the hilarious and ridiculous previous posts, there are ways to decrease costs of a wedding. As I just went to a wedding this past weekend, the bride should’ve read this article and spent less on her dress and maybe more for a proper dinner (olde el paso tacos seriously), and a DJ.
There are always going to be people who disagree with your list and unfortunately they seem to think their opinion matters most.
Thank you for an insightful article.

May 16, 2019 08:58

SO basically the guest don’t care about anything? I don’t know about anyone else, but I cant help it when it comes to critiquing someone’s wedding. I care about EVERYTHING! This article is crazy to me.

May 16, 2019 08:58

I agree with the list. Times have changed. I’m not shocked at the negative comments. Normally it comes from those that actually care about all the things that really don’t matter too much to the overall wedding guest.
And I suggest people proof read before publishing their comments.

May 16, 2019 08:58

Oh dear! Even my boyfriend would not agree with this list! It is ok if you are not the kind of person who is into the weeding sheboom and there you can have a lovely meal with your close friends. Which is awesome. But if you want a wedding party then you need to pay attention to these little things! Some things are more important than others in peoples heads, but they need to represent the couple’s likes to make the ceremony more intimate.
I even pay attention to these details when organising even the Christmas dinner let alone wedding!

And ps. Who wouldnt care about the wedding dress? That is the one thing i am super excited about!

May 16, 2019 08:58

Absolutely Love this list. We created a beautiful day for the two of us that about 50 others will watch and hopefully enjoy. We are having it in our backyard, we uploaded a picture to Walgreens and printed invitations, and we had the most fun making centerpieces our of burlap and mason jars. It is about the two people getting married and even though we could afford to do anything we wanted, we love what we have created for about $10k. Best wishes to everyone. 4 days to go..

Rettelie Jean Charles
May 16, 2019 08:58

what a great article!! sure saved me some time and the stress!! wooohooo!!! happy Bride!!!

May 16, 2019 08:58

I love this list. We are planning our wedding right now, & don’t want several of the things listed – we want a relaxed do with all of our friends & family & don’t think we need to stick to antiquated traditions to do so, or do anything that we don’t want to do just ‘cause it’s a wedding. I am so bored of people telling me what I SHOULD do for no other reason than it’s a wedding. It’s 2017 & people can do whatever they like. This list reassures me that people won’t be bothered by the things we don’t want to do, although I would still do what we wanted either way! It’s just nice to know that we are actually focusing on the important bits, out of choice.

Obviously this list is meant to be reassuring & encouraging people to do what they want, & not worry about what is ‘expected’. Am amazed by the comments misunderstanding this. Regardless of the whole point about doing whatever you want, whoever said “All this does is make brides feel like our wedding isn’t special” – favours & tablecloths make your wedding special? I thought it was about marrying that special person, with your friends & family around you? And the person who ‘pays attention to everything as a guest’, so you sit there & judge your friends based on the quality of their invitation paper, & touch their flowers to check them?! Do you actually get invited to things?

This list also made me feel super chill, reading all of the irate comments about how everyone still dreams about their cakes 9000 years later haha. Nice to know bridezillas are alive & well & that I am not one!

May 16, 2019 08:58

I agree with this list 100% I am in the wedding planning business and seeing them week after week I can tell you that half the stuff people do are a total waste of money! Yes it is all pretty but unnecessary. You should be just as happy to spend $100 on a dress than $10,000.

So many times have people left their favors on the tables after its over.

May 16, 2019 08:58

Some of these comments are the funniest I’ve ever read. People getting so het up about, well, all of the author’s points, who, as it happens, is not criticizing anyone for their choices, but saying that some things just don’t have to be that big of a deal.

If you want to spend thousands on your invitations and programmes and flowers etc, go ahead! But if you’re smart about it, a $200 dollar flower package will look just as good as a $500 one. Take it from me!

I got married two weeks ago and did not sweat the small stuff in the slightest. I bought an amazing gown that cost $500 in a sample sale, my sister and sister-in-law designed the invitations and prgrammes, a friend of a friend did the flowers, my three school friends took care of the care… it was chilled out, relaxed and every one of our guests said it was the best wedding they’d been to.

Take a chill, complainers. You’re the ones who keep this ridiculously overboard wedding industry afloat!

May 16, 2019 08:58

I am coming up on our 50th wedding anniversary. Originally we had the formal, nice wedding, Which in the ‘60s was nothing compared to what is happening now. Things were more basic. That is not to say my wedding was not considered elegant but things were more sensible then.
I can testify to that having planned every detail of our 2 daughters weddings. Compared to my wedding the girls weddings were on steroids! Both were beautiful and over the top!
As I look back now…their dresses were very important to each of them which is all that was important! Both venues were special and still talked about. Music was chosen by the couples and were played by dj’s. I admit the cake was overdone but beautiful but expensive. We had no favors which I really see no need for.
I am now planning our 50th wedding anniversary. We are having it on a beach, New Year’s Eve at sunset. A shaman will preside. All very simple but in its own way elegant.
Big party to follow to welcome in the new year.
Bottom line, do what’s important to you!

May 16, 2019 08:58

As A Practical Wedding says “You will remember what your wedding FEELS like, not what it LOOKS like”. So yes you need the flowers and the dress and if spending loads of money on them will be something you will treasure forever go for it but give yourself permission to not spend huge amounts of time or money on things that you don’t care about and that your guests ultimately won’t notice the difference.

What I want for me and family is to feel relaxed, have some great food and got to spend time connecting with old and new friends. Me spending thousands on centerpieces doesn’t contribute to that so I am recycling bottles and jars and filling with simple, beautiful but ultimately very cheap flowers. So yes they are important but I’m spending my money elsewhere (Open bar!)

I’m not inviting anyone who is going to judge me for not having spent a years wages on one day.

May 16, 2019 08:58

Yea…. this was entirely unhelpful. You may be right that wedding guests may not care about all of this stuff, but NEWS FLASH that day ain’t really about them, it’s about the bride & groom putting together what is special for them! The guests are there to support and celebrate THEM! So what ever they choose is important, the guests should be there to support not gripe. If you are not going to care about what is important for the bride and groom then you should not go. Maybe, the invitations, wedding dress, etc aren’t important to the bride and groom, maybe they are, their choice. The day should be about them.

Carlyle roldan
May 16, 2019 08:58

Woaaah! Yup so many haters out there! I agree on some of the list of the things that guest doesn’t care. I never used to care about any of this things till now that I’m getting married. It’s true! Most of the things that brides worked hard and spent money with gets thrown into the “garbage” such as invitations and yes favours! I guess depends on which ones you have opted in with your favours. Sweets usually works and a lot of people love them. Centrepieces, decor, table lines yes they are unfortunately gets forgotten after the wedding and it’s your whole wedding day that you have worked hard for is done in a few hours. It’s all memory of you and your husband. Even flowers! Flowers that we brides spend so much money with! I guess it doesn’t really matter if we have tons of cash that we don’t even know where to spend with! Right?

May 16, 2019 08:58

Thank you, very helpful. We have a daughter getting married next year and we have given her a budget that won’t leave us in the poor house. She will have a beautiful wedding but just within our means. And Anna if you pay attention to all that when you attend a wedding are you really there for the couple? Again thanks for the tips and I’m emailing this to her right now!

May 16, 2019 08:58

Ah, this makes me sad. If you have guests who don’t care about what’s stated in the article then you need to reconsider your guest list. Invite people who care about all things important to you, it makes your day so much more special and memorable and for years to come there will still be conversations about your beautiful dress, delicious cake and lovely details :)

May 16, 2019 08:58

You are you kidding? People I know care about all of this. Especially the favour bags. This is the dumbest list I’ve ever seen

May 16, 2019 08:58

Uhm I love the bouquet toss!! I got the bouquet at my sisters wedding and my fiancé actually caught the garder! And guess who really is getting married this time?! Me!
The wedding dress and the first dance is basically the number one thing dream about when I think of my wedding(aside from the actual ceremony)
I love getting free candy at weddings.
I agree that things don’t necessarily have to be extravagant, but I wouldn’t go as far as saying “people don’t care”
That just isn’t true.
And finally I’m having an outside wedding in the fall, and it’s going to be amazing because I live in Arizona, so the weather will be perfect.

May 16, 2019 08:58

Couldn’t agree more with this…I’m at the age where all my friends are getting married and I’m going to a lot of weddings, as well as planning my own. I would rather see my friend not stressed and wasting money than doing things they feel they have to cause everyone else does. I can’t remember most of these things, except the times when the food was bad or ceremony really long. The dance , the flower toss make me cringe.. The cake as a celiac is never exciting. I just like to see the happy. Also working as a makeup artist has made me terrified of my wedding day as these people are often so stressed.

May 16, 2019 08:58

Are you kidding? My dress isn’t as important as the food these people will eat?

May 16, 2019 08:58

The way I see all this is why even bother setting up an expensive and stressful party for people to be inapreciable. I believe to have a small intimate wedding of close family and special friends and use your money wisely in memories the newly weds can keep for the rest of their lives such as a great honeymoon. No need to feed and preoccupy yourselves with a friend of a friends comment about your wedding. This day is ONLY for the two of you and not for guests

May 16, 2019 08:58

This is a crazy list! It is the whole wedding. The person who wrote this clearly only wants people to elope! Not to mention, your wedding is supposed to be about the bride and groom, not the guests, it is the one day that a normal woman gets to be a princess and a man gets to be a prince. I think everything about someone’s wedding day should be what ever they want it to be and by the way, I have the invitation to a wedding my husband and I attended 5 years ago because I thought it was cute (and no, we are not related to the bride or groom, just friends with them).

Ken Bromley
May 16, 2019 08:58

I can tell you that this is a rather accurate list and on the most part very true. I have been to many weddings and have played close to a 500 weddings (I own a DJ company) and I can say without a doubt that no one in history has ever left a wedding and said “this whole night is ruined because there were no flowers!”

My point is that the only one who really cares about some of these things is the bride herself. If she needs all the frilly invitations, fine linen tablecloths and napkins, a 23 tiered cake and a bunch of wedding favors that most people are never going to use in order to make herself feel like a Princess (a broke princess but a princess none the less) then have-at-it. I always thought that what makes the day the most special for the couple is not all the “accessories” they have but the vows they took.

As a wedding DJ I am a bit biased but I can tell you with 100% certainty that if the entertainment sucks then people WILL ABSOLUTELY remember that and it will all be on the Bride because she wanted all the frilly crap and ran out of money so she had to get a $250 DJ. People will remember the entertainment, the ceremony and finally the food…spend the bulk of you budget on these things and you wedding will likely be a success. If you want to spend a tonne of cash on the little things then do so even though the majority of guests will not care about them months down the line.

May 16, 2019 08:58

I love it.. made me easen up, Thanks!

May 16, 2019 08:58

You basically thinks that nothing matters in a wedding. As I guest, I pain attention in everything! The quality of the paper and the size of the invitations tell me how elaborated will be the party. Wedding with no flowers? Nobody pain attention on the tablecloths? A party is made of details! As a guest, I look at everything! I even touch the flowers to see if they are real! And the bridal dress is just the most expected thing…. i respectfully disagree with this list!

Donna Rulien
May 16, 2019 08:58

Whoa! So many haters out there! Spend a fortune or elope – it really doesn’t matter. Put your efforts into growing a life together. The wedding day flashes by in a few hours and you’ll wonder why you ever freaked out about any of the details. BTW – I liked the list.

Chipmunk J.
May 16, 2019 08:58

Ah, the modern wedding, where the ceremony must be kept short and your guests must be kept drunk. It’s kind of sad. The list of things people don’t care about doesn’t bother me. It’s when we get to the list of things people do care about that is rather depressing. But at the same time, kind of makes me hold my friends and loved ones a little closer. Thanks, guys, for being happy to attend a formal ceremony, not a “short and sweet” hack job of vow exchanges and then out the door to have a drunken dance party. It’s a wedding, not a Friday night out clubbing.

May 16, 2019 08:58

I have to say, i pretty much agree.
I work as a waitress at an up class winery that hosts a lot of weddings, and I cannot tell you how many of those party favours we collect at the end of the night because no one bothered with them. (the chocolates are a great sugar boost when we have another 2 hours left. Us girls often get bunches of flowers because what else are they going to be used for? (except for morning after breakfasts)
Make sure the dress fits and suits you, and bridesmaid dresses are flattering.
food requirements are important to be worked out in advance, the number of people who get upset because they don’t tick gluten free or no pork can be incredibly frustrating for both the staff and the guest.
I went to a friends’ wedding recently, and while overall it was a great night, there wasn’t enough staff to keep the tables clear and it made things a bit awkward (although most of my friends work at fancy venues, so we have high standards), and the groom put together the dance music, but he is a hopeless romantic so they were all slow ballads and no one wanted to dance to. A couple other friends went to the rescue and made up an alternate playlist, but it took the party a little while to get going.
Get good food that your friends and family will like, be nice to the staff and they will go out of their way to be helpful (both as the couple, and a guest) and try to work out ways for everyone not to get sloshed.

May 16, 2019 08:58

My wedding was almost completely DIY. My awesome mother and I made ALL the flowers and centerpieces (people were begging to take the centerpieces home). My cousin gratefully made our cakes, my brother and mother did the music, and we wrote our vows. I completely agree with the list, except for the flowers!!! We spent a fraction of what most brides do and my wedding was AWESOME!!!

May 16, 2019 08:58

WOW!!! All of these negative comments of what was suggested. It’s all a matter of preference – not to be taken personally. Bride & Groom Make Your Day A Happy One, And More Important – Your Home A Happy Home.

May 16, 2019 08:58

As a mom of two young women in their twenties and will soon be having two weddings, I appreciate these thoughts.
The last wedding I went to, the couple had a simple notecard on the table saying that they had given a donation in our honor to a cause that I know is near and dear to the bride’s heart. That seemed to be much more sensible than some little thing I’d take home and feel like I needed to keep (though I did like a tiny jar of honey we got once—no long lasting responsibility for that one!)
I know we’ve been to weddings that guests brought a food for a potluck reception and ones at country clubs and fancy hotels, a Pakistani wedding (which was very interesting and different than any I’d attended previously), and ones on the beach and in the yard, ones in cathedrals and little country and city churches, senior centers and townhalls…. every one has been different and not all of them have stuck in my memory with any details.
I truly hope my kids have weddings that are meaningful to them and that they don’t bankrupt me or themselves in the process!