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Updated: 10 Things Your Wedding Guests Don’t Care About

by Wedding Shoppe Blogger: Stephanie E. August 10, 2017 @ 11:00 am

Wedding Planning

It’s a universal truth – wedding planning is stressful. With an endless list of decisions to be made, from the décor to the dress to the catering and everything in between, the stress can pile on at lightning-fast speeds. One minute, you’re trying to choose between roses and ranunculus, and before you know it, you’ve fallen down the Pinterest hole, scrolling between 19 slightly different shades of pink petals while stress eating wedding cake samples.

That said, there are more than a few items on your wedding checklist that guests pay far less attention to than you think. Instead of driving yourself crazy over the teeniest details, save yourself the headache (and probably a few bucks, too) by knowing what really matters to your guests, and more importantly, what doesn’t.

10 Things Your Wedding Guests Don’t Care About

Originally published on June 10, 2016. *This post contains affiliate links through Etsy. While we can receive commission through these links, opinions are entirely our own.*

Read on for our handy list of wedding details that guests just don’t care about – plus a few that they do!

1) The Invitations

I hate to break it to you, but these little suckers end up in the recycling bin faster than you can say, “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Sure, it’s the very first introduction to your wedding, but a beautiful invitation is a beautiful invitation. No one is judging your choice of paper stock, ornamentation or font (just trust me on this one).

The Solution: The average couple spends $445 on their wedding invites. Don’t stress about your invites and instead find an affordable option that fits your budget. There are tons of retailers that would surprise you with their collections of wedding invitations, such as Costco, Target, Walmart, Shutterfly, or Etsy. On Etsy you can even pay a flat rate for an instant download, and then print as many as you need. The invitations featured below are super affordable while also being super cute so you can definitely find a middle ground here.

Perfect rustic wedding invites. Cheap can be cute! | 10 Things Your Wedding Guests Don't Care About | BloomsPrint | The Wedding Shoppe

Shop: BloomsPrint

2) The Programs

See: Invitations (but with a far shorter lifespan).

The Solution: Programs are super cute, but if you want to skip them and save the money your guests won’t care. Instead create a few DIY chalkboard or wooden signs that have your schedule or other necessary details listed on them. Have a few of these around the ceremony and reception site and your guests will get the general idea.

A smart alternate to the spendy wedding programs, make your own DIY program board! | 10 Things Your Wedding Guests Don't Care About | The Wedding Shoppe

Shop: keeplifesimpledesign

3) The Guest Book

Ah, the thumbprint tree. Such a creative idea in theory, but it can get real messy, real fast. The anniversary wine, the Polaroid station, the wishing tree… Super cute, but super unnecessary. Guest books can get pricey, and the cost can really skyrocket once you start piling on the works. Do yourself a favor and keep it simple, or go ahead and nix it altogether. Your guests won’t miss it, and in the age of digital photography, you’ll have tons of tons of snaps of your family and friends sharing your special day. If that doesn’t beat a scrawled name on a page (or a smudgy thumbprint), I don’t know what does.

The Solution: If you decide to go with a guestbook, create something simple. A cute DIY board like the one pictured below is cute, cheap, and something you can actually display after the wedding. Your guests won’t care that you made it yourself. I once attended a wedding where the couple had one of their engagement photos framed and then removed the glass so we could sign the paper matte inside of the frame. It was super simple, and they have it hanging in their living room now.

Wooden Wedding Guest Book | 10 Things Your Wedding Guests Don't Care About | The Wedding Shoppe

Shop: EastInADay

4) The Flowers

Now don’t get me wrong; floral arrangements are almost always a welcome addition to your chosen venue, and can inject the space with a bit of your personal style. But while no one will argue that golden dip-dyed roses aren’t totally gorg, they’re also a total waste of time and money. Trust us, no one will notice the lack of designer blooms, and your artfully arranged farmer’s market flowers will be just as striking – at a fraction of the price. Guests will appreciate the thoughtful, fragrant flourishes no matter what, regardless of whether you’ve chosen exotic blooms from far-flung corner of the world or locally grown greenery.

The Solution: Instead of spending a fortune on fancy designer flowers, visit your local farmer’s market or florist. Your guests will literally have no idea where your flowers came from, so why spend all the extra money? On the morning of my cousin’s wedding she had her bridesmaids pick up all her flowers from Costco. And you know what? They looked great!

wedding-bouquet

Erin Johnson Photography

5) The Linens

As a wedding guest, I just don’t pay much mind to your tablecloths. As long as I don’t have to eat my halibut off of a dirty old burlap sack, I’ll be just fine, thank you very much. Specialty linens can get costly, so save yourself the buck and choose something simple and functional that blends seamlessly with your décor – no muss, no fuss.

The Solution: Save the money and choose something simple.

wedding-table-setting

Jody Savage Photography

6) The Dress

This one may be a bit controversial, but personally, I think that blowing your bridal budget on a fancy-shmancy gown just to wear it once and never again is less than practical. It’s not what you wear but how you wear it, so as long as you’re comfortable and feel like your best, most beautiful self, well, that’s good enough for me. That’s not to say that guests won’t remember an outlandish or ill-fitting dress, but if the bride is rocking a beautifully tailored gown that makes her look and feel like the goddess she is, guests won’t bat an eyelash at the lack of designer label.

The Solution: Before you panic, let me clarify and say that your guests obviously care about your dress. What they won’t think twice about is the price or designer of your dress. So don’t take out a small loan to buy a dress with a fancy designer label that you hope will impress your guests. Instead, find a dress that fits you and your personality well. Shop sample sales, clearance, and online to find a perfectly beautiful dress that won’t break your bank. You could wear a second-hand dress and no one would know the difference. Check out our large selection of bridal gowns under $1,000!

Maggie-Sottero-bridal-gown

Lauren B Photography

7) The First Dance

Short of a live performance by Adele to provide the soundtrack, no one will remember your first dance. In fact, a nervous, shaky, overly choreographed routine may be what sticks with them. Instead of the weeks of rehearsal required to try and fix your two left feet, it’s more important to just be yourself and enjoy the moment. Tackle a few moves that you feel 100% comfortable performing, no matter how simple, and watch the pressure just melt away. Great for you, great for your guests and great for your wedding photos… Everyone wins!

The Solution: Smile, relax, and have fun. If you don’t feel confident in your dancing skills, be able to laugh at yourself because your guests will appreciate that way more than a nervous, awkward dance. This is a moment for you and your new spouse, so enjoy it!

bride-groom-first-dance

Shanna Guidry Photography

8) The Cake

Towering layers, handcrafted sugar paste designs, 24-carat gold motifs… The painstakingly detailed wedding cake is certainly gorgeous, but guests won’t miss those details if you opt for an elegantly simple confection instead. As long as it tastes delicious, you’ve got a guaranteed crowd pleaser (and let’s be honest, it will, because CAKE). Speaking of tasty treats, a dessert bar is a great option as well. Swap the cake for an array of equally delish (and comparatively affordable) cupcakes, macarons or ice cream sundaes, and guests will be just as pleased.

The Solution: Get creative. I once attended a wedding that ended with DIY cake slices. To this day, I haven’t a clue whether I opted for yellow cake, chocolate icing, or sprinkles. What I do remember is the fabulous time I had making my own unique spongy treat and sharing the fun with my dear friends – and all it took was a simple sheet cake and a couple of tubs of creamy frosting. However seemingly crazy the idea, don’t be afraid to shake things up!

Beautiful cake topper | 10 Things Your Wedding Guests Don't Care About | The Wedding Shoppe

Shop: BestWeddEver

9) The Bouquet Toss

This tradition has become somewhat archaic in recent years, with many brides opting to skip it altogether. Do it or don’t do it – it all depends on your vision – but rest assured that if you opt out, it’s likely that no one will miss it. Besides, less time assembling the masses for the ceremonial pitch means more time on the dance floor!

The Solution: Do it or don’t, but have fun and don’t stress about it.

wedding-bouquet-toss

Brian Bossany Photography

10) The Wedding Favors

An edible sweet treat that guests that can enjoy in the afterglow of the wedding as they share memories of your spectacular soirée – well, I can’t argue with you there. But engraved champagne flutes, customized candles, and other novelty items are forgettable for guests and an added expense for the bride and groom. A fancy soap might seem like a great idea for the fancy soaping-loving couple, but for most of your guests it’s basically the adult equivalent of getting raisins on Halloween. One in 50 will love it; the other 49 will dump them on your lawn.

The Solution: Take the money you had set aside for favors and donate those dollars to your charity of choice. A sweet note will let guests know that a donation has been made in lieu of those take away gifts, a gesture that any wedding guest would be thrilled to support.

If you still want to give out favors: pick something sweet and simple. Food is always a great idea here. Otherwise I’ve seen couples skip the favors and opt for just the photo booth instead. Guests usually love these things and taking the pictures is a fun memory for everyone.

Have food as your wedding favors | !0 Things Your Wedding Guests Don't Care About | The Wedding Shoppe

Shop: mavora

With that, we hope to help alleviate some of the stress of wedding planning by helping you not sweat the small stuff.

So what do guests care most about?

1) The Ceremony:

It goes without saying that guests will be overjoyed to watch the happy couple proclaim their love and be joined in wedded bliss – I mean, it’s kind of the whole point – but the crowd may start to get restless during a long, drawn-out ceremony. One of the most common guest complaints is having to sit through a too-long production, so keep it short and sweet (roughly 30 minutes or less) for a happy clan.

wedding-ceremony

Tandem Tree Photography

2) The Food:

Enjoying a decadent meal with loved ones is a treat for guests, so make sure your food choices are crowd pleasers. A fantastic meal will keep those good vibes going, but a bad one could really bring down the mood. In addition, be sure to offer options for vegetarians or those with common allergies, like gluten and nuts.

3) The Drinks:

Weddings and booze go together like peanut butter and jelly. Bottom line: Keep the drinks flowing, because there’s nothing that wedding guests hate more than the liquor well running dry. Forgoing the fully stocked bar is fine; an edited menu of Champagne, wine, beer and one or two specialty cocktails will keep guests in high spirits all night long.

groom-groomsmen-wedding-toast

Tandem Tree Photography

4) The Music:

The tunes will be going strong from the first arrivals through the last dance, so make sure your music list is on point, especially once guests start hitting the dance floor. Skip the chicken dance and opt for fun, contemporary tunes that everyone is sure to know and love to unite the crowd and get people moving.

wedding-reception-dance

Jessica Ranae Photography

5) The Venue:

Common sense is the key here. Skip the outdoor venue during the hottest, most humid days of summer, and likewise, choose an indoor spot during the fall and winter months when temps may be chilly. Outside of the climate, a unique venue is something they’ll also care about, particularly if the journey to your wedding is a trek for some of your far-flung guests. A seriously cool spot is much more of a draw than, say, Hotel Ballroom #3, don’t you think?

Check out our list of unique wedding venues for ideas>>

So Take a Deep Breath…

Hopefully this guide was able to put some wedding planning details into perspective. Wedding planning is SO stressful that being able to brush aside some of those worries can be a huge relief. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that your wedding day is exactly that: YOUR wedding. Instead of stressing about what you think your guests want, do what you want. Remember that your wedding day is above all about you and your spouse and the love you share, so take a deep breath and think about what is actually important. Good luck!

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  • Comments

  • Jesse

    This is honestly the stupidest list I’ve ever read your one-sided narrow-minded opinion of what people want in a wedding is ridiculous I’d be surprised if you’re married or ever really attended any real good wedding

  • Rachel McQuade

    Wow the only comment on this article is so negative I had to leave one just to say that I thought this was a great list!

    I am planning a wedding right now and it is SO easy to get caught up in thinking people will care about the tiniest details. Chances are, they won’t even notice. The big things matter, food, drinks, ceremony! It’s nice to be reminded of that sometimes… it can be easily forgotten in the madness that is wedding planning. 🙂

  • Allison

    This is actually a pretty good list. Guests aren’t going to care how much the invitations costs or what font you agonized over. They’re going to care about the couple – ceremony, food/drinks, and music.

  • Penny

    If you think guests don’t pay attention to bad grammar or etiquette on the invitation…you are sadly mistaken! Simple errors like using ‘evening’ prior to six p.m drives me crazy… as does a deceased parent issuing the invitation! Do NOT capitalize every word on your invite! Get some advice if you must ‘print your own’. No excuse for improper invitations!

  • Cary

    I agree Jesse, this is a stupid list.

  • J

    Totally disagree with the comment above. This article is pretty accurate, at least for me haha. Takes off a lot of stress for the bride-to-be! Keep it up!

  • Nicki

    How this article reads: “Hey all couples! You know those months of hard work and effort you’ve put into your wedding? NO ONE CARES!!! LOL ain’t nobody gonna look @ ur invitations for more than 2 seconds and your dress isn’t memorable anyways!!!” You need to understand your target audience better. Nobody reading a website called WeddingShoppeInc.com wants to hear about how nobody cares about the flowers they carefully selected.

    I understand this comment is going to be deleted as soon as it’s read, but come ON.

  • Laura Helen

    So relieved to hear this!! The things that people don’t care about are the things I’m not stressing about either!!

    And the things people DO care about? Those are the things we’re really putting effort into!!

    Thanks for taking the stress off!! =D

  • Chrissy

    How on earth is this supposed to be helpful??? All this does is make brides feel like our wedding isn’t special and frankly why bother even having one. You may want to find a different line of work. Seriously!

  • Lauren

    So you literally hate everything about a wedding? Why do you even go? For most brides, ALL of the things you mentioned are important. I am planning my wedding right now, and I can’t imagine not having any of the things you said guests hate. I don’t know what guests you are talking to. The guest book is something for the bride and groom to go back and look at, in the years to come. Its not for the guests anyways! I have asked many people what 2 things do you look forward to seeing at the wedding, and most people I have asked said the cake and the dress. This is literally the worst article I have ever read about weddings.

  • Mary

    I’ve performed multiple weddings and can say from experience, this advice is right on! I’ve witnessed a super elaborate wedding with 16 piece orchestras, amazing ice sculptures, lobster dinners, mega buck designer dress, and flowers and cake that cost thousands. I’ve seen destination weddings, simple outside weddings, church/reception hall weddings. I’ve seen families spend $1,000 to $50,000. Have a nice venue for the reception of no more than $50 per plate. Don’t worry about napkins that match your color scheme, pricey designer dresses, ice sculptures, or a custom designed cake or expensive flower arrangements. NOBODY CARES. They care about if the couple is really in love, a short meaningful ceremony, a tasty meal, available alcohol, a yummy cake, a decent DJ, and mingling with people they know. save yourself THOUSANDS to put down on your house or buy furniture or spend it on a memorable honeymoon.

  • Amy

    This article is spot on. The wedding industry is out of control and couples spend way too much money on pointless aspects of a wedding. It’s about the couple and your love for that person. Not about the guests. Not about who can have the “best party.” But, if you want to spend $40,000 + on a party to start out your marriage in debt, the wedding industry thanks you and hopes you’ll do it again for your next wedding.

  • Dee

    I’ve been married for 30 years and I had a guest book. Unfortunately I was still carrying that thing around in my garage in a box. I recently cleaned it out and tossed it! So in essence a guest book is a waste of money and so are the programs. Simple invitations are best, people will always criticize your choice or style anyway. Keep it simple! Save your money.

  • Valerie

    This list sounds more like the author’s opinion than the guest. It would have been better had the article began with, “In my opinion….” because everyone feels differently. I recently attended a wedding where it appears that the bride must have read this article and it was memorable but not in a positive way. All I remember thinking was what a waste, she should have just gone to the Justice of the Peace. If you like planning events and if you have the money then I see no reason to follow much of the advice in this article.

  • Marie

    I liked the list but was very disappointed with the last comment about the hotel ballrooms. I agree it’s not the most unique location but for us its within out budget, its beautiful and its logistical because 90% of our guests are from out of town. This way they don’t have to figure out how to navigate the city or worry about getting back after the night is over.

    I feel as though that line was a lame attempt at relevance, like “see how with it we are? We’re here for the “cool” brides who get married in warehouses and movie theatres because that’s whats in right now, right?”. Unfortunately, that stuff’s not for everyone so it really just comes across as snobby.

  • Roz

    It’s not about the guests and what they like. It’s about what the bride wants, who cares what guest wants? They guests want whatever they get, they are just happy to be invited.

  • Cassi

    This article is spot on! It’s not saying no one cares about your wedding, it’s saying don’t stress so much on the tiny details because most people won’t notice the difference! The majority of guests will think the invitations/flowers/cake are pretty no matter what, so don’t spend a fortune. Wedding planning can be so stressful, so it’s good to be reminded that it doesn’t have to be totally perfect for my guests to enjoy it.

  • Dee

    I love all things about wedding and still agonize over the things we simply couldn’t afford at our wedding. Like the designer flowers, we bought ours at the farmers market and arranged them ourselves. No party favors, no elaborate cake, it was a decent meal and the music was ok. 23 years later and we are still married and I am planning on doing it right for our 25th anniversary.

  • Brandon

    This list has been created by a bride stood up on her big day, only then would this list make sense…

  • Kayler Grafitti

    Good thing a wedding isn’t about what the guests do/don’t like or will/won’t remember! If a wedding really revolves this much around the guests, then they can make all the little decisions about the wedding, and divide the cost evenly and the bride and groom won’t pay a penny!

  • Joy

    I think that this article can be summed up by “make everything nice, but don’t go overboard.” That said, don’t underestimate the impact of colorful linens. I’ve had so many brides just go with white linens because they come with the package. It only costs a little extra for colorful linens and it can have a HUGE impact in a boring ballroom or “brown, brown, & more brown” barn.

  • Jackie

    Any guests who cares more about gold foil invitations than they do about dancing, laughing, and spending time with people they care about are not guests I would want at my wedding. And yes, I obsessed over napkin selection for an embarrassing number of hours, but that was my decision (knowing full well that no one, no one cared besides me).
    This list is amazing for the perspective shift, especially for those of us who want a lovely wedding without dropping 20-30k on a single day. Those of us who have job, and love going on adventures, and those of us who are wedding planning because they are deeply in love and want to share it with their friends and family, not for the thrill of planning an event Because the pinterest black hole is real, because people love booze, and because very very few sane people give a damn about napkins.
    Thank you! (this is my first blog comment, that’s how much I love this article…and I’m getting married in 3 weeks)

  • Katrina

    For all the negative comments i think your reading it from the wrong prospective..for example yes the dress is important but paying thousands of dollars on something you’ll wear once is not necessary what the article is saying is that no one other than yourself and your bank account is going to know how much you spent and by whom it was made. Your dress should be a reflection of yourself and should make you feel like a queen and in order to do that you dont need to spend an absorbent amount. Also ive planned and attended many gorgeous weddings and at the end of the day when you look back on all the comments of a wedding its usually always about the food the drinks and the fun time they spent celebrating the union of the people they love rarely ever is it the type of flowers or the linens or the napkins or the entricate designs that the plates had…so when planning a wedding like i am myself make sure you dont loose sight that this is the groom and brides day no ones opinion should matter when your picking what you want to have that reflects your beautiful union. Your doing it for yourselves not for your guest

  • Andrea

    I think people are getting awfully sensitive about this. some of it I think the writer phrased a little too harshly honestly. While yes, it’s true the wedding industry preys on couples I will say this, weddings are usually fun to go to and I’ll tell you right now from all the weddings I went to there are things on here i do an don’t remember.

    1) i don’t remember ANYONES CAKE. why? because no one did anything special with theres. Everyone opted for their simple and boring white cakes with barely any design on them. and i dont even remember what it tastes like! Food is important at a wedding. The weddings i remember having the best food were the ones that had the HUGE cocktail hours with the food stations, they had the sit down dinners too which i don’t remember much of either. but i personally remember the cool food stuff so if you have a cool cake people will remember it and what it tastes like too.

    2) linens – oh come on, do you really need to get the satin table cloth?

    3) invitations/save the dates/programs- look, no one is saying go get some loose leaf paper and a pencil and scribble your ‘you’re invited to my wedding’ but do you really need the invite that’s $3.50 per pc? for a 100 person guest list that $350! just for invitations! the point being made here is that you couldn’t pick an invitation that was just as nice for $1.50 per piece? I mean did you really need the custom wax stamp on it and the silky gold ribbon? it’s pretty, but is it worth that extra amount that you could have actually put towards something you REALLY liked? and honeslty how many people’s invites do you remember? i more so remember the save the dates with peoples pics on them more than the actual invites.

    4) personally i HATE the bouquet tosses. i feel like its just a mockery of single ladies out there. Plus, since i love flowers i’d personally want to preserve my wedding bouquet somehow as opposed to tossing it to someone who is just gonna toss it anyway

    5) first dances? i don’t remember ANYONES first dance, but again, like the cake, that’s because no one bothered to try and do anything with it. all they did is hug each other and waddle in place. I do remember quite a few peoples first SONG of choice though. If that is something important to you then make it the best you can for you. It doens’t have to be for anyone else. If you have watch your wedding video 10 yrs from now do you want to watch you waddling like a penguin to your first song? NO! do you need to go get choreography from a professional to get a good dance? NO! There are more frugal ways to get around these things. – oh and for regular dances i think its better to actually pick things that get people up and moving not just today’s hits. not everyone likes that stuff! and i doubt your older family members want to hear it either! Pick actually dance tunes! Which while it might not be the chicken dance or the bunny hop, group dances do get people moving in a FUN and memorable way, don’t start blasting AC/DC or rap music that leaves you just standing there trying to bop to a beat that’s not …danceable. and keep it classy honestly… people get hammered really bad and make poor choices… & after having a great meal that is 50+ bucks no one wants to hurl it up cause someone is grinding in front of them WAAAY too much.

    6) Wedding favors – honestly i hate the plastic little trinkets people give out or hte engraved wine glasses. Unless you had your wedding at the zoo and gave me a wine glass with engraved zebra stipes i don’t want your name on my glass that won’t match any other one in my house! i’ve regifted some of the crystal dishes people gave out too as favors. and tossed the plastic crap. you can’t go wrong with an edible favor or something thoughtful that people can ACTUALLY use like a blanket if you’re having a fall or winter wedding.

    some of these things i believe are for the bride herself like the type of dress she wants. i can tell you right now. I would want my dress to be special to me. Unique that looks great on me that i won’t see the bride of the next wedding i go to wearing it or something similar to it. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s gotta be a designer’s dress but i’ll tell you right now, almost every time i choose something to wear i almost ALWAYS end up picking something expensive not because of the designer but for the actual design itself. But be honest if you are picking a regular plain strapless with a sash do you REALLY need to get the designer one when you can easily pick an almost identical one from David’s Bridal for a lot cheaper? Every wedding i’ve been to i’ve NEVER known who made their bride’s dress, i only know whether or not she looked beautiful in it or like a stuffed sausage.

    ultimately it’s your wedding, pick something that makes you happy but set your budget and stick to it! and don’t spend frivoulously on stuff that doesn’t matter that much to you. Put the full money out on things you REALLY want NOT stupid stuff like table cloths that people won’t notice anyway.

  • T

    There’s one way of looking at it is that as long as the couple is satisfied with what they spending the money on is great… the wedding and decor is all about the bride 75% and the groom 25%. You just want to make sure your guest is having a great time. Everything should matter to the couple and forget the guest until it’s time for the party…

  • Brittany

    This list is spot on. I know when I’ve gone to weddings, all the items on this list are things I could care less about! Sorry, don’t remember the dress, centerpieces, flowers, or invitations. All I remember is if I had a good time. I’m currently planning my own wedding, and the one piece of advice I’ve heard from other married couples is no one cares about the little stuff, so don’t sweat it! You can still have a fabulous wedding that guests will talk about without breaking your back over minute details that no one will miss or notice. Thank you so much for this list! It reaffirmed what I was already thinking 🙂

  • Janet

    I read the first point and disagreed so straight outta the blocks this article and I didn’t see eye to eye hahaha I actually do really care about the invitations. I like seeing how couples choose to represent themselves and their weddings from the very start. Likewise the dress! I have lost count how many weddings I’ve been to but I could tell you what each bride wore if you said their name. Whereas I don’t think I need any favours or edible treats. I don’t want to eat sugared almonds or something else not that pleasant now, after your reception, or ever. The open bar too? Completely disagree with that one. I think it’s pretty sad if keeping the alcohol flowing is needed to keep people sparkling all night. I have never been to a reception where moderate alcohol consumption limited the celebrations, in fact the total opposite. Bottom line? The atmosphere you set is way more important and a glass or 2 of champers doesn’t have to be a bottle or 2 to keep guests happy if they’re really your friends!

  • Stacy

    Before planning my wedding a friend who just married for the second time said to me plan for your marriage not the wedding. She learned from her previous relationship it’s ok to have a nice wedding but too many couples focus on the party not the actual marriage. She and her new husband eloped just the 2 of them and she looked so at peace and happy when they returned. Best advice I was ever given! My wedding is less than 2 weeks away and we are having a very small intimate wedding with 16 people including my future husband and I. We have done a lot of DYI projects found on Pinterest and cut out things that were really unnecessary by reading articles like this. Thanks to this article the program template I’ve been fussing with just got tossed! We sent out nice inexpensive invitations and response cards how many did we get back in the mail….0! Every guest called or hand delivered back to us. Wish I would have saved my money on the stamps and stationery and just called them! You may not like or agree with this article but trust me all your guests really care about are the 2 of you. Which is why we did a small wedding with immediate family and a couple of close friends. We made our wedding day about celebrating our union not throwing a fancy party for people we barely know. It’s taken my stress level way down! Best of luck to all of the bride’s I know how stressful it can be!

  • Krystan

    I’m getting married next month and I absolutely love this advice. It’s saying to stop worrying about making every single little detail perfect and I agree! The guests won’t care if you spend $100 or $10,000 on your dress. All that matters is that it fits you and you feel gorgeous in it. They won’t care where you get your flowers from, as long as they look nice. The cake design is really for the pictures so the bride and groom and can look back on it later. It won’t look so beautiful once it’s all cut up anyway. Make your wedding the way your want it, but don’t feel like you have to spend extra to get the very best for your guests. It’s not about them anyway 😉

  • Jason

    Lauren, Chrissy, Cary and Jesse… The wedding industry called… They said thank you soooo much for keeping them all in business! Have fun reading your guest book each year… I know your husband can’t wait!!! everyone is entitled to their opinions and my opinion (after just spending months planing our wedding) is this is sooooo spot on. Ask your friends, or think of the last few weddings you went to… Quality of food and drinks, great music and great times on the dance floor and at the photo booth. That’s what you will talk about for years with your family and friends… Not once have I ever heard a bride or groom say… “Our food was just ok and the DJ was bad, but those flowers! We’re amazing! I’m so glad I paid all that money for them to die the next day later!!!! Get a clue people, re-read the article and try to understand what the writer is saying…. Yes this is your day and you can do whatever you want. But if you don’t want to drop six figures on a wedding, these are some great tips on where to save and where to invest for your return on investment. Which is memories… Not flowers and a $10,000.00 dress….

  • TG

    I thought the list was excellent and encouraging for those couples who want to save money for their future. However, for some families, a wedding is a social event, and expectations are higher all around. I’m sure most couples know which category they fall into. One note though, I’ve been married over 30 years and there have been several occasions to refer back to the “Guest Book”. You will not remember if second cousin Edna attended, unless she signs A guest register. Have fun and enjoy your planning and wedding day!!!!

  • Lori

    Rediculous advice! That’s cheap & classless …not to mention a complete lack of manners. A bride should care about her gown, favors are for guests who are bringing you a gift to celebrate your nuptials….and yes a favor shows CLASS & MANNERS not to mention etiquette and good taste. You should have named your article “The No Frills ……. come and give me a gift ….wedding planning guide”

  • Sophia

    This seems like an article for the tacky and cheap bride that will just go to target or create an event on Facebook for invitations. My family saves wedding invitations, and we always paid attention to everything that you said guests hate. Guestbook is not for the guests anyway as someone previously. And what about the couple? The dress is pretty important to the bride. Well I guess except for the brides that agree with this article.

  • Tori

    Love this list! I’m going to spend a good amount of money on my wedding but I’d rather spend it on the things that really matter! It’s important to step back and look at what you cared about at other weddings, not what you hope people will notice at yours, because they won’t! I will definitely be using this advice!!

  • Ashli

    This seems incredibly accurate. Most of the guests won’t care about all the extra fancy junk so put effort into what matters. I think people didn’t quite understand what the author was talking about when it came to the dress. The author was saying that blowing tons of money on a dress just because of a designer label is something the guests aren’t going to care about, but if a cheaper dress makes the bride feel just as beautiful without the extra cost no one is going to judge her for choosing the less expensive option.

  • Jeannie

    Our daughter was just married and I think everything on this list is absolutely 100% accurate – IF your guests aren’t pretentious old biddies or wealthy ingrates. If you are inviting people who are going to get uppity about the font on invitations, judge you for using a simple dress, feel the need to highlight themselves in a guest book, or are worrying about your flowers, consider eloping. At the end of the day, whether you’ve spent thousands on your wedding or kept it simple, you are still married. The wedding is the start, and being a Bridezilla is NOT a good start to a new life.

  • Katherine

    I must say, as a wedding wedding guest (been to 12 in 2 1/2 years), this list is spot on. For those commenters who are leaving such negative feedback, I don’t think you really got the gist of what she was trying to get across… I couldn’t care any less if the white (as an example colour) flowers you picked out were daisies and babies breath, or expensive lilies and roses, they both look gorgeous. If a cake is an absolutely stunning 5 tiered masterpiece, but tastes dry and flavourless, nobody will eat it. Best cake I ever had was a plain, unadorned sheet cake… I’m drooling just thinking about it. Invitations are about giving necessary information, guest books rarely ever get looked at, and a beautiful dress, is a beautiful dress, no matter if you spend $100, or $2500+. This article is for those brides who do not have an endless supply of money, who might fall into the wedding industry’s trap of thinking “I don’t have $10,000 to $20,000 to spend on a wedding, maybe I can’t afford it”.

  • Valerie Wilkinson

    Having organised a wedding for our eldest daughter and now our youngest. I can’t help but disagree with the negative comments as after years I have had so many friends and family say that they can’t wait for this wedding as they say that the lasf was the best wedding ever and can remember every single detail. My advise is to Brides is to not stress on the small things but to enjoy the day and be genuine in the person that everyone loves you for. Welcome and thank your guests for making the journey.

  • Puleng

    I think this is a great advice

  • KP

    Guess it’s a good thing you don’t plan the wedding for your guests anyway. If you like these elements do it! I’m not planning my wedding to please guests. I do hope they enjoy themselves but their purpose for coming is to share in my day not be impressed. Maybe my invitations need to say if you’re coming just to see what it will be like don’t come at all!

  • Haylet

    Woe that was a depressing read. Newsflash you’re not getting married for the sake of your guests you’re getting married for you so do what makes you feel special. I go to other weddings with a glance at the cake. That doesn’t mean it isn’t important to the couple. If you have the money to, do whatever you want. And FYI people do tend to keep invites as memorabilia.

  • Meghan

    We were married almost 2 years ago and this is SPOT ON. People are there for you, not your decorations. They want to have a good time and celebrate, they’re not going to judge every little thing at your wedding like you will. Obviously, have the wedding you want but don’t go out of your way to impress your guests. I’ve had a better time at a cheap wedding than an over-the-top wedding. So why waste the money?

  • Teresa

    I disagree on points 1-10. I know many people who enjoy all the details of a wedding. Pretty invites, cakes, dresses. I know I do.

  • Rebecca

    I always keep invitations to close friends weddings and the favour boxes. I love going to see relatives and see they’ve kept favour boxes and gifts from my wedding. My grandma & aunts loved the cake & my dress, they’ll never forget the best cake they ever had & seeing me in my stunning dress. Neither will I or my husband. I think this article is rubbish. We made a budget and stuck to it & I always love the details at weddings. Do what makes you happy – your guests will love it all as they love you. If they’re just there for free booze rethink who you invite.

  • Suzanne

    Of all the weddings I’ve ever been too. I remember 1. The ceremony, I always shed a tear! 2. The food 3. The party vibes. Simple is best!

  • Erah McMullen

    While I understand the point of this article, and agree with a few points I practically winced when when you said no one cares about the dress or flowers. I couldn’t disagree more on those points, those are the highlight (or low point) of every wedding I’ve been to (next to food). And if you’ve ever watched an episode of Four Weddings you know how truly important BOTH of those are. Maybe not “designer” but cheap looking or absent – people notice!

  • Sarah Bennett

    Wow! I couldn’t disagree more!!! While I understood what the writer was saying, I absolutely care about all of those things and pay attention to them. I really think most women do. The dress is the first thing I noticed, the flowers if they are not tasteful I noticed that as well. All of the little details is what makes a wedding absolutely gorgeous. So hopefully brides won’t listen to this because you don’t have to spend a lot of money to make these things look nice, but they really do make all the difference in the world.

  • Bianca

    I get that the guest don’t care about a lot of these things, but if the bride and groom want them, then it doesn’t matter. I mean, nobody is planning their wedding for the guests right? I’m planning my wedding for April. I love flowers, so I’m going to be married in a garden and have a lot of flowers. Also, I don’t like the idea of a guestbook because I won’t read it again. However, I do like the tree where every one signs a leaf. It’s something that we will be able to use to decorate our home and I will be able to remember all the people that shared that memory with me. My mother is a wedding decorator, so she is helping me find ways to save money in so many areas. I want my wedding to be beautiful because that is the one day that I will remember every single detail. It is the one day that I will plan absolutely everything. It is the one day that I will remember for the rest of my life. All of these details are great in pictures that the BRIDE & GROOM will keep forever, not the guests. So, yeah the guests don’t care about it, but who said the bride and groom cared about what the guests think anyway?

  • TraFunk

    As a bride-to-be with absolutely NO idea of what I’m doing while trying to plan my wedding, I am INSPIRED after reading this post! Although a “girlie” girl, I was never the little girl dreaming of my wedding while playing with my Barbie and Ken dolls. It is intimidating enough trying to wrap my mind around “til death do you part” (really? after you forgot to take out the trash AGAIN) and overlooking the vendors, family and coordinators faces as they try to hide their shock when I tell them my vision of sharing one of the most important decisions of our lives in an intimate setting with ONLY close family and friends. Not to mention the fact that as soon as the word WEDDING is spoken nothing else can be heard over the imaginary sounds of cha-ch$ng ringing in the background. Thank you for this sound advice during a time when even the most level-headed person can be influenced by SO MUCH information (and so many people)!

  • Jordan

    I just have to comment after reading all the negative comments to this article. The point is that a wedding is not something to get incredibly stressed out about or spend $50,000! If someone honestly paid attention and judged me for “capitalizing every word on my invitation” as one commenter said- I do NOT want you at my wedding. I honestly cannot believe the amount of comments that basically say they go to weddings to judge every detail- and no doubt talk crap about their “friend” later on for not spending enough money.

  • Cristina Fuchs

    I disagree totally, I car about the flowers, the dress, the linen and OMG I care about the cake, it has to be amazing!!!

  • Ashlyn

    Last time I checked, couples weren’t having weddings to please their guests….

  • Eric

    This article is spot on, however most of the comments seem to miss the point. The author isn’t saying to half ass anything or skimp on an item that is important to you, just not to stress over minutiae. I spent time designing our invites, but the artwork was made to suit us. A trip to Kinkos to have them printed and cut on card stock worked fine. I had plenty of compliments, no need for custom gold embossing.
    The point is that as long as you put some effort into it nobody will care about whether the napkins are eggshell or ivory. The keeping up with the Jones mentality has driven the wedding industry in this country into a crazy, stressful ordeal.

  • Callie

    I love this! When my (now) husband and I got engaged, we sat down and discussed two things: 1) What 3 things are most important to us when thinking about our wedding day? And 2) Whose opinions about our wedding day matter to us? Not limiting the guest list was important to him, and the budget was important to me, so we opted for a cake and punch reception. We decided the only opinions that mattered to us were ours and our parents (who were just as low-key as we were), which meant we were free to politely ignore all the nay-sayers throughout our engagement. We now recommend this to all our newly engaged friends, because it literally saved our sanity and kept the focus on what WE determined was important. We had a “real” wedding (“real” dress, “real” venue, etc), had 350 of the 415 people we invited show up, and only spent $3,200. In the end, we had multiple non-family members tell us it was the best wedding they had ever been to. Why? Because we kept the focus on the ceremony (which is why they’re there; without a meaningful ceremony you might as well have a family reunion) and we made the wedding match us, not some societally-invoked expectation. And that’s what guests will remember, if they are really there for you. So if flowers are important to you, do flowers well and skip the fancy cake. But decide ahead of time what’s important, and I promise you’ll enjoy this wedding planning time immensely more!

  • Whatever

    No one cares about the dress or the invitations? Yeah right. Yeah, you don’t need to blow out your budget for the perfect dress, but you do need something that makes you feel good on your special day. People will notice if your dress doesn’t fit you.

  • Helen

    Totally diagree! First of all, the wedding is not solely to please the guests! It’s about what you care about and what’s important to you! Second, I feel the flowers, the linen and all the other small details make a beautiful wedding! I recently got married and decided to have a smaller wedding at my parents backyard and spend my money on getting all the details the way I like and have a lot of flowers and … I couldn’t be happier with the way it turned out and now every time I look back at the photos it makes me so happy I did it that way! No matter what you do, guests will find something to criticize! So just go with what mekes you happy!
    P.s my wedding was picked to be featured in The Knot magazine because of all those little details this article said it’s not important!

  • Kelly

    Ohhhh this made for an interesting read and I like that it’s controversial and causing a debate! Personally I disagree with points 1-10 not because of the items that have been listed but because I feel every couple know THEIR guests best. As a guest I remember EVERYTHING maybe this is because I’m in the wedding industry or maybe it’s just coz I’m into that kinda thing.
    Yes, couples get married for themselves so they are married, but if you really don’t care about making your guests happy then why bother having any in the first place. Plan the wedding of YOUR dreams not the wants or expectations of others. Good luck gorgeous Brides-To-Be and follow your heart!

  • Charmaine

    I think the point of this article was to basically say, don’t not have them if you want them, but to spend $1000 dollar on invites is extremely. Or $3000 on flowers. Simple is best. You don’t have to show your money through decor.

  • MK

    DISAGREE. Best advice that was given to me was that YOU threw this party for all these people to join with YOU in YOUR most important day. Enjoy every second of all of the hard work and effort you put in and F the table rounds!”

    Most brides love detail and especially after working so hard on your own wedding… 1-10 are much acknowledged, appreciated, and huge parts that go into your big day and should never be “not cared” about.

  • Tybee

    As a wedding guest, I would have to agree with keeping the ceremony short. Allow me to add, I also don’t care for the “write your own vows” thing.

    I’ve looked around at other guests squirming in their seats as brides and grooms stumble through weird, awkward, sometimes overly personal speeches that left me wondering, “What was the point of that?”

    I’ve literally felt sorry for the bride and groom after they’ve embarrassed themselves in public. Busting the zipper in your dress at the alter would be less embarrassing and revealing. Why not write your groom (or bride) a personal note to be read in private just prior to walking down the aisle?

    Be kind to the guests and let them get to the cocktails early. Keep the ceremony short and sweet.

  • Tami

    So I have to disagree on the title alone. Maybe guests don’t care about that stuff. But generally a wedding is about the bride and groom and if they care about those 1-10 then that’s what matters. It’s their wedding. My guest frame hangs in my bedroom and has a wedding picture in it. Was it important to a guest? Of course not. But it means something everyday to my husband and I. So you’re right most of the details aren’t important to guest but who cares. It’s your wedding!

  • Jen

    I like one person’s comment “it’s about what the bride wants”. What about your groom? What does he want? Pretty sure a wedding only needs to reflect you both as a couple. I agree with the list. I attended 3 weddings one year and the only thing we all talked about afterwards was the food and drinks. Stop worrying about what other people think and do what makes you happy. Whether it’s a 5 course dinner or a food truck with burgers, it should reflect the couple’s style. And for goodness sake, ask your groom what he wants too. Let him have a say.

  • Jessica

    Sorry, but the highlight of the wedding should not be your cake or your dress, it should be marrying the person you want to spend your life with and spending time with your loved ones.

  • sg

    I understand what this author is trying to accomplish (making people who can’t afford the Pinterest-perfect wedding feel better), but think she went about it with an oddly sarcastic tone that hit nerves for some readers. Clicked on this article hoping for some honest, positive inspiration to save $$ on small things my guests may not notice.. but was disappointed how everything was rooted in negativity. Like you’re seriously saying guests don’t care about things that make your day special (first dance, the dress..)? Those are some guests I do NOT want at my wedding!

  • Daniel

    Disagree. We got some Nice non-personalized a wedding favors at weddingfavorsunlimited.com and we were super happy as were our guests and I’ve been to the houses of many of my guests and seen them use our wedding favors a few months after our own wedding.

  • Jo

    Well that just sucked all the fun and careful planning out of most people’s weddings. And as a guest, I do remember all the little details and appreciate the effort that goes into wedding planning.

  • Meg

    I also disagree with some points of this article. I feel that some of these items may seem superfluous to many people, but the invitations were actually very important to my parents and grandparents. They even wanted extras to put into scrap books.

    I also think the dress and the flowers/decor are something people notice. Dynamite decor and a stunning dress create buzz and that’s something guests enjoy. It definitely ups the entertainment factor. More importantly, YOU and your groom will notice these things in your photographs for years to come.

    Your guests are probably not strangers and probably have a rough idea of your income level, so their expectations will be measured. However, I’ve been to weddings where the flowers were wilting and the table clothes were not steamed and creased all over, even at the head table. I noticed, other people noticed. Did it ruin our enjoyment of the wedding? No. But it did make me feel sorry for the bride and groom who probably still paid decent money for those things to come out lack-lustre at best.

  • Andy Caetano

    I Disagree ENTIRELY. All of the details listed are part of the overall experience. Nothing says we didn’t prepare to have you join our special day than skimping. It’s the thought and quality that counts. If you are going to skimp then go without.

    Flowers: Your wedding and your funeral are the two life occasions you should invest on gorgeous flowers. Unless you plan to start a wedding punch card (and get your 6th wedding free), do it right and make it gorgeous. Yes, people do comment on the plastic flower rentals from the venue and the DIY train wrecks. Hire a great florist, do it once and do it well.

    Invitation and Favors: Put thought into what you are giving! After all it’s a small gesture to say thank you for coming, thank you for your gift and thank you for being a part of our lives.

    Cake: in taste and design, the cake is one of many masterpieces of a wedding. You don’t have to go with the most expensive but be intentional with your details. Don’t go with a particular style to keep it cheap. The presentation is part of the experience and will be in your pictures forever!

    The Dress: Are you kidding me!!! This is where you suggest a bride should skimp? Every little girl dreams of what her wedding dress will look like since she was 5 and her personality will show in that dress.
    I’m not saying go for the most expensive but go with the one that speaks to who you are! And, YES, girls do notice other girls dresses.

    I’ve never felt more special at the bargain corral – said no one!

    Do it once and do it well.

  • Ellen

    Many people are missing the point of this list.

    It is saying the GUESTS will not care about those things, not that they don’t matter.

    The author is saying not to fret about details because in the long run, it won’t matter to them, so just enjoy it for YOU, the bride and groom.

    Don’t buy the $10,000 wedding dress because you want to impress, buy it if you like it.

    Don’t worry about what font will make the best impression on your wedding invites, just pick the one you like and move on.

  • Lisa

    I am planning a wedding and thought these were great thoughts to move me in a direction of prioritizing expenses. It is correct that in a pintrest world some spend foolishly to keep up appearances. We had already implemented some of these ideas because we agree that people who come to celebrate with us are giving their time (and sometimes money) and we want to provide an enjoyable meal and a stress free day. Busyness just creates unnecessary stress. Thanks to the author for taking time to throw a few good ideas out there, why feel the need to critique what doesn’t sit well in your plan? It is like a grocery store, just put what you like in the cart and take it with you, leave the rest in the shelf for someone else.

  • Megan

    So, just use word of mouth, show up in sweat pants, feed people, & give them liquor? The guest book isn’t FOR the guests…it’s for the bride & groom. The first dance isn’t FOR the guests…it’s for the bride & groom. And my guests, 4 years later, still talk about how delicious our cake was; I have had 2 friends order the exact cake for their weddings. And while the point may be, don’t spend a lot on flowers, I promise you you’d be singing a different tune if you went to a wedding with no flowers. What a lame article.

  • Frank

    I think that everyone is missing the point of this article. I think the intent is to get brides and grooms to lighten up and relax about the details. As a florist I deal with brides almost everyday and so many are so stressed out about making everything perfect. Yes, guest do notice details but no one is going to declare your wedding a disaster if the roses in the centerpieces are half a shade off. The best weddings I have attended are the ones that really reflect the personalities of the couple, not the ones that look like perfect generic Pinterest pages.

  • Daphne

    Well looks like you just want a party! Why even get married in front of all those people you can just go to city hall

  • Kelly

    I agree with this article (except for the comment on booze). Our first decision was our motto: No debt. No stress (well okay, less stress). My partner enjoys photography so our Save the Date and wedding invitations featured a photograph of us in two of our favorite places taken by friendly passers-by. We created and printed them for about 100 bucks each at FedEx Kinko’s. If something was important to us, like great food, we put money into it. If it wasn’t important, like the bouquet toss, or unaffordable, like flower centerpieces, we eliminated it. I received many compliments about the decor and the atmosphere. In the end we had a wedding that we and our guests enjoyed.

  • Steve

    The proper title for this article is “The Things I Do and Don’t Care About at Your Wedding”.

    Every couple (their likes and dislikes are THE priority)- and presumably their friends and families- put emphasis on different aspects. Some want nothing but the best music, to others it’s food, or the venue, or the decor. As long as no one (especially the B&G) is going into debt, let them go crazy! The guests may or may not remember it, but THEY WILL. Remember, this is a (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime event.

    If this is how you feel as a guest, do your host a favor- respectfully decline, send a nice gift, and pray they are not as judgemental as yourself.

  • Brooke

    Great article! Summed up and reconfirmed what I had been thinking about, and also helped to steer me in the right direction. Hotel Ballroom #3? Haha, exactly. Also, right on with the cake, the dress, the flowers. Thank you for the great article

  • Deb

    I’ve asked almost every married couple I know and Everyone men and women both agreed they would keep it thoughtful and personal but simpler and not sweat the details. These were many of the same responses I received as to what they thought was a big deal but wasn’t. Simple doesn’t mean thoughtless…but it does allow time to concentrate on the more important things. Great shared insights!

  • Jeani Waters

    With over 1000 weddings under my belt I can say that this article is right on. Most brides and grooms are making their wedding a more intimate affair these days and keeping only what matters most to them. If it’s something you feel strongly about, absolutely include it but if you’re doing it because you think guests expect it when they really wouldn’t miss it..why waste your time, effort and money on it?
    You definitely want to put your money where it will be appreciated the most in the long run. Everyone wants to make that WOW factor happen for everyone at their wedding in some shape or form, truly the most commented on “wow factor” by our guests have been how un-stressful it was and how the bride and groom actually had time to pay attention to them for a while…this is what will matter in the long run and if your guests are comfortable they will feel you have given them enough consideration. While there are a few exceptions to the rule you should keep in mind…the more you try to impress the more you will stress… the more you stress, the more your day becomes a mess…so, concentrate on what makes you both happy.
    -Jeani Waters

  • Jan

    I agree with Ellen – the point is not that these things aren’t ‘important’, it’s looking at the big picture – is the wedding about the ‘perfect day’ (and they never are, which often adds to the fun) or celebrating your commitment with those you love. If you have a very limited budget you can still be creative and have a beautiful wedding! And call in favors to vendor friends to barter as gifts – win win.
    I try to remember this as I dress for a wedding, and I stress about how I look, my last look in the mirror, I smile big and say “Remember, It’s not about me!”

  • JA

    #1 and #2 is how I make a living. It’s nice that I know so many brides, grooms and guests that appreciate these things. I clicked on this link because I was interested in seeing your opinion but I was shocked your list covered so many great aspects of a wedding.
    My advice to brides is that if you want to do all of those things then do it. You can find all of these great things in different price ranges and somethings are even DIY. Above all enjoy your wedding day.

  • Charice Martin

    I honestly don’t care if any of that matters to the guests. This sounds like it was written by someone who regrets spending a bunch of money on their wedding. What doesn’t matter is what the guests care about. A wedding isn’t about the guests. I try to keep my guests in mind however my dress, our cake, our first dance, (not doing the bouquet toss because I’m going to keep my bouquet), the guestbook or whatever they’re signing in place of a book itself, the decorations are the bride and grooms personal preference and they don’t have to, need to, or should nix all or most or not choose to spend their money or time on the things they want. My dress is 1350. I love it. Regardless of whether or not I’m going to wear it again is not anyone else’s concern. A bride may wish she spent less money and had a simple wedding but nothing beats having hundreds of pictures of all of these moments that you cared about. Favors are one thing, I’m doing them because I want to. Not because I care if people want the favor or not.

  • Jordan

    It shouldn’t be about making your guests happy. It should be about making your day the way you want it or there’s no point. Good read though. I just feel like if you care so much about what everyone’s going to want in your wedding and not want, then it’s not your wedding.

  • Tara

    Well my wedding will be booze free so I guess I fail.

  • Connie

    Who cares what the guests think though? It’s your wedding, not theirs. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to come

  • Kimberly

    Yeah I also have to call BS on this list. I just had my wedding and I will list in order the items I was MOST complimented on by the guests:

    1. The band
    2. The food
    3. The venue
    4. My dress
    5. The cake
    6. The invitations
    7. The flowers
    8. The placards and table menus

    My guests were wowed by the smaller details I put into the wedding. I opted to do 1 large program sign vs individual programs because they always get thrown out right away. We didn’t do a bouquet toss because I hate that tradition and we didn’t do favors because more often than not people forget to take them. But I received several compliments on my invitations, people adored my dress, they loved the flowers, and maybe my family are just dessert people but they made a fairly sizable deal over the cake.

    My advice to every bride out there would be: does it matter to YOU because if it does then make a big freaking deal about it. I knew I didn’t have to do anything big on the invitations, but they mattered to me. So did the flowers, and the dress, and the cake. Every detail mattered a lot to me, the things that didn’t I just cut out entirely and nobody missed them, and I got tons of compliments on everything else.

  • Sheila

    I’m so glad that the person who wrote this article did not advise me when I was planning my wedding. As for as the comment about the cake and the dress is concerned, for your information, the dress and the cake are the most observed. (Besides the groom, of course) If a bride has no interest in looking her best or having a pretty cake, she needs to get married behind a barn somewhere.

  • Sara

    I completely disagree with this article.

  • Terrah

    I felt this was a good list. I’ve been married 25yrs and have since attended MANY weddings. Most of the things on this list the GUESTS don’t remember. I appreciate a nice invite and nowdays love the couples photo on them. It hangs on my frig until the date then sadly recycled.
    I also like reading a program but usually think people wasted money when they put them on high dollar paper, I will just recycle if it even makes it home with me. I’m not saying don’t do them just don’t spend HIGH dollar. Again very few people know the exact price of your dress unless you tell them. You can get many dresses that look awesome and don’t cost $10,000.
    The only thing on the list I disagreed with was the first dance. Although I may not remember every first dance in my head I do know that each one I’ve watched I was touched and it always makes me think of my first moments as a bride too.
    Flowers — only your flow-erst knows the truth. Again you can get beautiful flowers and not pay a fortune. I’ve never attended one without flowers though and I would notice that. You just expect flowers at a wedding.
    Cake I’m sure I’ve eaten some very expensive wedding cake and didn’t know it. No one wants yucky cake but again not a place to spend a fortune for fancy extras. Less is more, but all white is boring.
    Linens — I do remember fancy linens — AS A WASTE OF MONEY! agree I don’t want to eat on burlap but some are going overboard. Put that money into food and drinks and good music!!
    Gifts for guests — why?? I don’t expect them, we didn’t do that years ago. A bowl of sweets at the table while we wait I’m good.
    Please know I think make it your day but I agree really look into the extras and see where the money is better spent.

  • StephanieCNM

    So…. basicially NOTHING at a wedding is important…. just go elope!

  • Bethany

    This list was mostly great…My invites didn’t match each other…purchased ones on clearance…your guests are only getting one invite so no one will know.
    I only did a program cause the pastor insisted on one.
    I don’t agree with the alcohol…as someone who has never drank, I don’t need it to have a good time.
    My wedding is outside next to a river and will have the beautiful October fall trees in the background…that’s what we want…
    Just plan your wedding to fit the Bride and Groom and don’t worry about what the guests want. It is really about what the Bride and Groom want. Don’t plan your wedding for your guests.
    Don’t make your wedding the “party of the year”. It will become less about the Bride and Groom and more about the people who “MAY BE” attending.

  • Kirsten Darling

    I would have to agree with this article. To the ones who disagree when you buy a 15k dress seems like you want to waste mommy and daddy’s money. I didn’t have that luxury my husband and I had to pay for our own wedding and some don’t have 30 to 40 grand to spend on a wedding why would we its foolish to me. We spend 300 on our wedding and I can still remember from my dress to my wedding cake 17 years later and so do my guests it’s all how you present it.

  • Jo

    I photograph weddings and I can honestly say that without exception, when the staff at the venue clear the tables after the wedding breakfast, there will be loads of favours dumped on a side table because nobody really wanted them and the staff at the venue really don’t know what to do with them.

  • Sam

    When my daughter got married (on a budget) I asked to decide what 3 things were most important to her. I said if she wanted fancy favors, that’s fine. If she had wanted a carriage ride to or from the venue – fine. But she had to decide. two days later she came back and said
    “1. I want everyone in the wedding party to look classy – not trendy, (she managed to find a 4Tall on the rack that fit her perfectly and the girls wore simple LBD’s while the guys were in tuxes)
    2. I want a great photographer because the pictures will last forever, (we found one whose work we had seen and really liked.)
    and
    3. I don’t want to have to go through the guest list and cut people out. (I said if you want to invite 400 people, you can’t feed them steak! she chose a dessert reception)
    9 years later people still comment on how beautiful she was, how lovely the reception was, and how much fun they had.

  • City

    I agree your wedding guests don’t care about these things but brides do. We shouldn’t be telling brides to choose these things based on how their guests feel about them, a wedding is for the bride and groom and the guests are there for them not the other way around. When you look back on your wedding day the details should be perfect in your eyes and if that takes $10,000 and you have that then fine and if it takes $300 then fine. Don’t focus on your guests when planning the wedding brides.

  • Pamela

    This list is not worth a look. Have the wedding of your dreams whatever way it may
    be! Just please don’t follow this list!

  • Claire

    I have to say I agreed with most of this article.

    My dress didn’t cost a fortune £700/$900 (it really doesn’t have to cost thousands to make you feel the bell of the ball)

    We picked hydrangeas that morning to furnish the venue. It looked lovely.
    Mum made jams and chutneys for the favours – something that everyone could actually use.
    And she made the cake too – simple but made with love. Far more significant to me.

    What mattered to me was the food and the music and that everyone enjoyed themselves. And everyone did exactly that.

  • Lolly

    Laughing over people getting so mad over this. Yep, no one cared about those months you spent planning gold tipped roses and a piece of paper in the post. You paid hundreds for someone to tie a bunch of flowers together and type up some text on photoshop, that’s your own fault; don’t get mad at this list for pointing it out.

  • Crystal Marie

    Grateful for this post! Thank you!

  • Christine

    As a wedding planner I would have to say you missed the just entirely here. I have been planning weddings fit well over 8 years and can honestly say that you not only sound like a cheap skate, but someone who is really out of touch with what most people want. My opinion always has been to never make a client feel bad about splurging on items that are a priority to them. I will never dictate to them what matters and what doesn’t because everyone is different. Your article should preface the fact that this is your (very bad) opinion…in poor taste but very persuasive nonetheless

  • Angelica

    Some of these like the invitations and spending hundreds on flowers makes sense. Others the author just comes off overly cynical.
    The wedding day is first and foremost about the Bride & Groom and what they want! Give money saving tips sure but don’t mock how people choose to spend or those that have the money to add special “pointless” touches to their wedding. Also with the favors, not everyone wants treats; especially if there’s already a cake and/or dessert bar. It’s a wedding not a bakery opening. But again it’s really up to the Bride & Groom what they give out. Frankly I’d love getting a candle. Majority of people keep candles in their homes and they get expensive rather quickly. I don’t see anyone throwing away a candle, soap, etc. unless they just love spending their own money instead of getting free things. And with that donation thing, it’s a sweet thought but there are people who would just find that cheap & impersonal. If you’re going in that direction you’d be better off just not mentioning that’s where the money went.

  • Denise Lewinski

    I’ve been to several wedding, both elaborate and casual. This list is somewhat right but i really do think that people notice the flowers and the cake. You don’t have to spend thousands on the flowers but they should still be a focal point in decor. I’ve been to weddings with a dessert bar instead of a cake and I always hear everyone ask where the cake is and then look disappointed when they hear that there isn’t one. You should add lighting to set the mood – it is the one thing that can take a drab place and make it feel special. A good meal is also very appreciated (does not have to be expensive) just good. Some of the best meals I have had have been chicken, while one of the worst is lobster. Oh, I should also mention that I am a photographer so I’ve seen my fair share of weddings.

  • Ann

    I love this list! I’m planning my wedding and it’s nice to be reminded to not stress about the small things. I don’t understand all the negative comments. If you have the money to spare, go ahead and spend a fortune on all the elaborate details. But the problem is the standard is set so high for those who cannot afford it and go into debt for their wedding when in reality, it is only one night and what people will remember most is the love between the couple, and having a good time.

  • Arriabella

    I agree with this list with the caveat that some things, especially the first dance, are for the couple not the guests.
    I know that my first dance is boring, I don’t care. It’s about spending a calm sweet moment with your new spouse.
    Invitations? I may remember them but I toss it after the event.
    Every couple/family is different so don’t take the internet as gospel, do what’s important to you and don’t worry about the other things!

  • Nikki

    This list was good for a laugh. I especially enjoyed reading the part the guests apparently care about the ceremony. In my experience the ceremony usually has less than half the amount of people that turn up at the reception (which I find ao rude and insulting). So I guess the list of what guests care about could have ended at the drinks/booze!

  • Catherine

    If you, as the bride and groom, want these things, then by all means have them. All this list is saying is that most guests don’t care as long as they’re well-hosted. I, for one, toss your favor in the trash as soon as I get home unless I can eat it.

    The last wedding I went to, I can’t remember what the bride wore (only that she looked lovely), what the cake looked like (only that it tasted okay), what the flowers were like (or even if there were any), if there were table linens, or what the invitations looked like.

    What I DO remember is that we were shoved outside in the middle of August in Oklahoma for an hour while they reset the room and was miserable in the heat, the guest book because sadly nobody expected them to be together long enough for the advice to be taken, and that they ran out of food early.

  • Connie

    I love that this article has stirred up so much controversy. Hopefully it will make some folks question what they want.

    I am getting married again at age 55, and my fiance is 61. A dear friend just sent me a note that expressed the same sentiments. She has been happily married for 18 years and a very smart cookie. Her note made me smile because I couldn’t agree more.

    The whole point is to actually take the time to consider what really matters to you both. Don’t just follow along with tradition because it’s, well, just tradition.

    It’s very important to my fiance to celebrate big with all our friends and family. We have both waited a long time for a soulmate connection and he wants to shout it from the rooftops. People are coming from all over the country. So, we are planning a very personal ceremony on a mountaintop followed by a kick butt reception at a really pretty and inexpensive rec center.

    When did it become so expected that a small fortune has to be sacrificed for this event? It feels a lot like the commercialization of Christmas.

    I think the party is for us AND our guests. Not everyone wants to diy their wedding, but I sure do. It gives me joy and satisfaction. Here are some of the ways we are choosing to save $$: I will grow my own flowers for centerpieces and bouquets. My dress is from a consignment store. It was handmade, one of a kind vintage reproduction that is beautiful and a mere $300. It was the first and only dress I tried on. Perfect. We used Vista Prints to make invitations using our photo for 39 cents a piece on a special sale! A friend has volunteered to coordinate for the day of….another chance meeting led to someone who used to be a florist & will put the flowers together. And so on, and so on.

    We aren’t cheap or poor. We will spend on good food, music, drinks and photographer. I have no doubts that it will be an amazing day without breaking the bank.

  • Eddie

    I don’t think the author is advising brides to not do something if they really want to. The point a lot of people are missing is that brides tend to do things in a wedding to impress their guests. For all the women disagreeing with this article, ask yourself, why did you do what you did at your wedding? Was it because you innately wanted to do it, or was it because you wanted to impress guests? I am a guy, married for ten years, personally involved in 12 weddings, and been to at least 20 more. When I’ve seen women choreographing their first dance or some other outlandish spectacle, you can argue till you’re blue in the face, but that was to try to impress the guests. This list is spot on, if you are trying to impress someone. If you really want to do it because you really want to, go for it.

  • Evelyn

    As a wedding professional, I have one comment. I agree that you don’t have to spend the most money to have the best wedding, but everything should look like it belongs at the same party. If you are spending $250.00 per plate for the venue, then they should give you beautiful linens and your centerpieces and your gown should also match the location.

  • Camilla

    I don’t Care what matters to the guests… the invitations, the dress, our dance, the flowers ect… it all mattered to me!!! I still look back on it and remember it with joy ❤️

  • Caren

    The last wedding we went to, the bride and groom spent 2 years on Pinterest planning every small detail. The wedding was over the top, guests were invited based on who would write a check to cover their $100+ plate reception dinner. I saw the cake for a whole 5 minutes and never even knew what happened to it once they cut it and took it away. I couldn’t even tell you what it looked like. There was too much food, although good, everyone was so full that no one touched the dessert bar and candy bar. Wedding favors? Couldn’t tell you what they were. I can’t tell you what the flowers looked like either. The invitation was tossed as soon as the wedding was over and they should have spent more money and attention on a bartender who knew how to mix drinks and didn’t scowl at people. I felt bad but the bride obsessed over so many detail but I can’t even remember them. If it made her feel good, great, but I don’t even remember what all was on that table so I hope she didn’t do it for us. Save your money and focus on what’s important to you, don’t try to outdo the last bride. Oh, and PLEASE hand write your thank you notes. For those of us who forked over checks to cover your $100 a plate dinner, we deserve more than a postcard picture of you two with a pre typed, thanks for coming to our wedding. Tacky and insulting!

  • DJ Staci

    omg…..could NOT agree more. plan your weddings according to this list ladies, not according to average amounts spent

  • Tracee

    I think it’s all about personal preference. One thing may matter to an individual where that same thing may be on the bottom of the list for someone else. I love details. Some others may not. I look forward to pretty invitations and well set tables. When it came to our wedding we opted out for some things that weren’t important to us but some weddings that we have gone to embraced those very things. I think this list can’t be said for everyone…we all have different tastes and should just respect everyone’s wedding preferences as their own, because that’s exactly what it is, their own. If the bride and groom are happy with the outcome then that’s all that matters really.

  • Sally

    I agree with a portion of this article of what guests don’t care about. However, I did all my own floral centerpieces for the tables, & most people didn’t know I had done them and commented how pretty they were. Everyone took an arrangement home. The garter toss at our wedding was a hit, because I wore 2 different ones on each leg because my husband & I are fans of rivaling football teams (I’m a Raiders fan, he’s a Broncos fan) so I wore one of each which people loved. Our first dance was a song played on the piano by my husbands sister who has been playing piano for the past 12 years, so that was another unique thing we had that guests enjoyed. Most the other stuff on this list, I do agree no one really cared about. We had our wedding at a hotel/casino, our open bar & friendly bartender was very popular as was the food that was amazing too. It really depends on the venue and the type of wedding you have I think as far as how popular certain parts of the wedding will be honestly, every wedding is different.

  • ashley

    I love this list. I’ve been to soo many weddings and I totally would rather have money donated than get a mini candle, a etched glass with some one else’s name on it lol. And seriously the invitations get thrown out!! NO ONE saves them! Its a waste of paper so do a tree a favor and cut back on the invitation nonsense. Keep it simple. We get it. Wedding. And the flowers, as guests we don’t look at the flowers we’re looking at you – the bride and groom and we’re looking to be entertained with good music and hopefully fun games and a cool photo booth with cool props. it is SO FUNNY to read the negative comments which are all obviously brides who think they threw the most amazing weddings and they probably think all their guests saved their invites and trinkets! hahah SAVE YOUR MONEY! plan the wedding that you would want to attend! HAVE FUN! I never understood women who spent thousands on a dress. Whats the point? I’m getting a hundred dollar dress and donating the rest of the 900 to a wildlife refugee sanctuary and i encourage my guests to do the same. We will take bets at the classy beer pong table and proceeds benefit the sanctuary. It may look pretty for a few hours, but no one will remember what it looked like, their memories of what they did and who they saw is what they ALWAYS remember! Aww you poor bribes in the comment section! YIKES! don’t be so rude!

  • Renée

    WOW!!! All of these negative comments of what was suggested. It’s all a matter of preference – not to be taken personally. Bride & Groom Make Your Day A Happy One, And More Important – Your Home A Happy Home.

  • Ally

    As a mom of two young women in their twenties and will soon be having two weddings, I appreciate these thoughts.
    The last wedding I went to, the couple had a simple notecard on the table saying that they had given a donation in our honor to a cause that I know is near and dear to the bride’s heart. That seemed to be much more sensible than some little thing I’d take home and feel like I needed to keep (though I did like a tiny jar of honey we got once–no long lasting responsibility for that one!)
    I know we’ve been to weddings that guests brought a food for a potluck reception and ones at country clubs and fancy hotels, a Pakistani wedding (which was very interesting and different than any I’d attended previously), and ones on the beach and in the yard, ones in cathedrals and little country and city churches, senior centers and townhalls…. every one has been different and not all of them have stuck in my memory with any details.
    I truly hope my kids have weddings that are meaningful to them and that they don’t bankrupt me or themselves in the process!
    I’m kind of hoping maybe they’ll get married on a cruise

  • Rachel

    My wedding was almost completely DIY. My awesome mother and I made ALL the flowers and centerpieces (people were begging to take the centerpieces home). My cousin gratefully made our cakes, my brother and mother did the music, and we wrote our vows. I completely agree with the list, except for the flowers!!! We spent a fraction of what most brides do and my wedding was AWESOME!!!

  • Andrew

    I love this list. I work in the wedding industry and am planning my own wedding currently. I have attended weddings that were anywhere from half a million dollars to weddings that were five thousand dollars. I don’t remember what the dress looked like at either. I don’t remember what the favors were at either. I don’t remember what the flowers looked like at either.

    What I do remember is how delicious the food was, how fun the dancing was, how short the ceremony was, and how much fun I had sharing a special moment with my friends and family.

    Oh and for all of the people on here who have said they got a million compliments on their dress and their guests really noticed….ask those guests to pick your dress out of a lineup. They were being nice. They actually don’t care.

  • Chipmunk J.

    Ah, the modern wedding, where the ceremony must be kept short and your guests must be kept drunk. It’s kind of sad. The list of things people don’t care about doesn’t bother me. It’s when we get to the list of things people *do* care about that is rather depressing. But at the same time, kind of makes me hold my friends and loved ones a little closer. Thanks, guys, for being happy to attend a formal ceremony, not a “short and sweet” hack job of vow exchanges and then out the door to have a drunken dance party. It’s a wedding, not a Friday night out clubbing.

  • Georgia

    I have to say, i pretty much agree.
    I work as a waitress at an up class winery that hosts a lot of weddings, and I cannot tell you how many of those party favours we collect at the end of the night because no one bothered with them. (the chocolates are a great sugar boost when we have another 2 hours left. Us girls often get bunches of flowers because what else are they going to be used for? (except for morning after breakfasts)
    Make sure the dress fits and suits you, and bridesmaid dresses are flattering.
    food requirements are important to be worked out in advance, the number of people who get upset because they don’t tick gluten free or no pork can be incredibly frustrating for both the staff and the guest.
    I went to a friends’ wedding recently, and while overall it was a great night, there wasn’t enough staff to keep the tables clear and it made things a bit awkward (although most of my friends work at fancy venues, so we have high standards), and the groom put together the dance music, but he is a hopeless romantic so they were all slow ballads and no one wanted to dance to. A couple other friends went to the rescue and made up an alternate playlist, but it took the party a little while to get going.
    Get good food that your friends and family will like, be nice to the staff and they will go out of their way to be helpful (both as the couple, and a guest) and try to work out ways for everyone not to get sloshed.

  • Donna Rulien

    Whoa! So many haters out there! Spend a fortune or elope – it really doesn’t matter. Put your efforts into growing a life together. The wedding day flashes by in a few hours and you’ll wonder why you ever freaked out about any of the details. BTW – I liked the list.

  • MomG

    I love it.. made me easen up, Thanks!

  • Ana

    You basically thinks that nothing matters in a wedding. As I guest, I pain attention in everything! The quality of the paper and the size of the invitations tell me how elaborated will be the party. Wedding with no flowers? Nobody pain attention on the tablecloths? A party is made of details! As a guest, I look at everything! I even touch the flowers to see if they are real! And the bridal dress is just the most expected thing…. i respectfully disagree with this list!

  • Ken Bromley

    I can tell you that this is a rather accurate list and on the most part very true. I have been to many weddings and have played close to a 500 weddings (I own a DJ company) and I can say without a doubt that no one in history has ever left a wedding and said “this whole night is ruined because there were no flowers!”

    My point is that the only one who really cares about some of these things is the bride herself. If she needs all the frilly invitations, fine linen tablecloths and napkins, a 23 tiered cake and a bunch of wedding favors that most people are never going to use in order to make herself feel like a Princess (a broke princess but a princess none the less) then have-at-it. I always thought that what makes the day the most special for the couple is not all the “accessories” they have but the vows they took.

    As a wedding DJ I am a bit biased but I can tell you with 100% certainty that if the entertainment sucks then people WILL ABSOLUTELY remember that and it will all be on the Bride because she wanted all the frilly crap and ran out of money so she had to get a $250 DJ. People will remember the entertainment, the ceremony and finally the food…spend the bulk of you budget on these things and you wedding will likely be a success. If you want to spend a tonne of cash on the little things then do so even though the majority of guests will not care about them months down the line.

  • Margarita

    The way I see all this is why even bother setting up an expensive and stressful party for people to be inapreciable. I believe to have a small intimate wedding of close family and special friends and use your money wisely in memories the newly weds can keep for the rest of their lives such as a great honeymoon. No need to feed and preoccupy yourselves with a friend of a friends comment about your wedding. This day is ONLY for the two of you and not for guests

  • Erin

    This is a crazy list! It is the whole wedding. The person who wrote this clearly only wants people to elope! Not to mention, your wedding is supposed to be about the bride and groom, not the guests, it is the one day that a normal woman gets to be a princess and a man gets to be a prince. I think everything about someone’s wedding day should be what ever they want it to be and by the way, I have the invitation to a wedding my husband and I attended 5 years ago because I thought it was cute (and no, we are not related to the bride or groom, just friends with them).

  • Ashley

    Are you kidding? My dress isn’t as important as the food these people will eat?
    Nope.

  • Kimberly

    Uhm I love the bouquet toss!! I got the bouquet at my sisters wedding and my fiancé actually caught the garder! And guess who really is getting married this time?! Me!
    The wedding dress and the first dance is basically the number one thing dream about when I think of my wedding(aside from the actual ceremony)
    I love getting free candy at weddings.
    I agree that things don’t necessarily have to be extravagant, but I wouldn’t go as far as saying “people don’t care”
    That just isn’t true.
    And finally I’m having an outside wedding in the fall, and it’s going to be amazing because I live in Arizona, so the weather will be perfect.

  • Kate

    Couldn’t agree more with this…I’m at the age where all my friends are getting married and I’m going to a lot of weddings, as well as planning my own. I would rather see my friend not stressed and wasting money than doing things they feel they have to cause everyone else does. I can’t remember most of these things, except the times when the food was bad or ceremony really long. The dance , the flower toss make me cringe.. The cake as a celiac is never exciting. I just like to see the happy. Also working as a makeup artist has made me terrified of my wedding day as these people are often so stressed.

  • WilmaQ

    You are you kidding? People I know care about all of this. Especially the favour bags. This is the dumbest list I’ve ever seen

  • Debbie

    Thank you, very helpful. We have a daughter getting married next year and we have given her a budget that won’t leave us in the poor house. She will have a beautiful wedding but just within our means. And Anna if you pay attention to all that when you attend a wedding are you really there for the couple? Again thanks for the tips and I’m emailing this to her right now!

  • Sheena

    Ah, this makes me sad. If you have guests who don’t care about what’s stated in the article then you need to reconsider your guest list. Invite people who care about all things important to you, it makes your day so much more special and memorable and for years to come there will still be conversations about your beautiful dress, delicious cake and lovely details 🙂

  • Carlyle roldan

    Woaaah! Yup so many haters out there! I agree on some of the list of the things that guest doesn’t care. I never used to care about any of this things till now that I’m getting married. It’s true! Most of the things that brides worked hard and spent money with gets thrown into the “garbage” such as invitations and yes favours! I guess depends on which ones you have opted in with your favours. Sweets usually works and a lot of people love them. Centrepieces, decor, table lines yes they are unfortunately gets forgotten after the wedding and it’s your whole wedding day that you have worked hard for is done in a few hours. It’s all memory of you and your husband. Even flowers! Flowers that we brides spend so much money with! I guess it doesn’t really matter if we have tons of cash that we don’t even know where to spend with! Right?

  • Tina

    As A Practical Wedding says “You will remember what your wedding FEELS like, not what it LOOKS like”. So yes you need the flowers and the dress and if spending loads of money on them will be something you will treasure forever go for it but give yourself permission to not spend huge amounts of time or money on things that you don’t care about and that your guests ultimately won’t notice the difference.

    What I want for me and family is to feel relaxed, have some great food and got to spend time connecting with old and new friends. Me spending thousands on centerpieces doesn’t contribute to that so I am recycling bottles and jars and filling with simple, beautiful but ultimately very cheap flowers. So yes they are important but I’m spending my money elsewhere (Open bar!)

    I’m not inviting anyone who is going to judge me for not having spent a years wages on one day.

  • Asia

    Yea…. this was entirely unhelpful. You may be right that wedding guests may not care about all of this stuff, but NEWS FLASH that day ain’t really about them, it’s about the bride & groom putting together what is special for them! The guests are there to support and celebrate THEM! So what ever they choose is important, the guests should be there to support not gripe. If you are not going to care about what is important for the bride and groom then you should not go. Maybe, the invitations, wedding dress, etc aren’t important to the bride and groom, maybe they are, their choice. The day should be about them.

  • Mimi

    I am coming up on our 50th wedding anniversary. Originally we had the formal, nice wedding, Which in the ’60s was nothing compared to what is happening now. Things were more basic. That is not to say my wedding was not considered elegant but things were more sensible then.
    I can testify to that having planned every detail of our 2 daughters weddings. Compared to my wedding the girls weddings were on steroids! Both were beautiful and over the top!
    As I look back now…their dresses were very important to each of them which is all that was important! Both venues were special and still talked about. Music was chosen by the couples and were played by dj’s. I admit the cake was overdone but beautiful but expensive. We had no favors which I really see no need for.
    I am now planning our 50th wedding anniversary. We are having it on a beach, New Year’s Eve at sunset. A shaman will preside. All very simple but in its own way elegant.
    Big party to follow to welcome in the new year.
    Bottom line, do what’s important to you!

  • Gela

    I agree with this list 100% I am in the wedding planning business and seeing them week after week I can tell you that half the stuff people do are a total waste of money! Yes it is all pretty but unnecessary. You should be just as happy to spend $100 on a dress than $10,000.

    So many times have people left their favors on the tables after its over.

  • Mir

    Some of these comments are the funniest I’ve ever read. People getting so het up about, well, all of the author’s points, who, as it happens, is not criticizing anyone for their choices, but saying that some things just don’t have to be that big of a deal.

    If you want to spend thousands on your invitations and programmes and flowers etc, go ahead! But if you’re smart about it, a $200 dollar flower package will look just as good as a $500 one. Take it from me!

    I got married two weeks ago and did not sweat the small stuff in the slightest. I bought an amazing gown that cost $500 in a sample sale, my sister and sister-in-law designed the invitations and prgrammes, a friend of a friend did the flowers, my three school friends took care of the care… it was chilled out, relaxed and every one of our guests said it was the best wedding they’d been to.

    Take a chill, complainers. You’re the ones who keep this ridiculously overboard wedding industry afloat!

  • J

    I love this list. We are planning our wedding right now, & don’t want several of the things listed – we want a relaxed do with all of our friends & family & don’t think we need to stick to antiquated traditions to do so, or do anything that we don’t want to do just ’cause it’s a wedding. I am so bored of people telling me what I SHOULD do for no other reason than it’s a wedding. It’s 2017 & people can do whatever they like. This list reassures me that people won’t be bothered by the things we don’t want to do, although I would still do what we wanted either way! It’s just nice to know that we are actually focusing on the important bits, out of choice.

    Obviously this list is meant to be reassuring & encouraging people to do what they want, & not worry about what is ‘expected’. Am amazed by the comments misunderstanding this. Regardless of the whole point about doing whatever you want, whoever said “All this does is make brides feel like our wedding isn’t special” – favours & tablecloths make your wedding special? I thought it was about marrying that special person, with your friends & family around you? And the person who ‘pays attention to everything as a guest’, so you sit there & judge your friends based on the quality of their invitation paper, & touch their flowers to check them?! Do you actually get invited to things?

    This list also made me feel super chill, reading all of the irate comments about how everyone still dreams about their cakes 9000 years later haha. Nice to know bridezillas are alive & well & that I am not one!

  • Rettelie Jean Charles

    what a great article!! sure saved me some time and the stress!! wooohooo!!! happy Bride!!!

  • Deborah

    Oh dear! Even my boyfriend would not agree with this list! It is ok if you are not the kind of person who is into the weeding sheboom and there you can have a lovely meal with your close friends. Which is awesome. But if you want a wedding party then you need to pay attention to these little things! Some things are more important than others in peoples heads, but they need to represent the couple’s likes to make the ceremony more intimate.
    I even pay attention to these details when organising even the Christmas dinner let alone wedding!

    And ps. Who wouldnt care about the wedding dress? That is the one thing i am super excited about!

  • LJ

    Absolutely Love this list. We created a beautiful day for the two of us that about 50 others will watch and hopefully enjoy. We are having it in our backyard, we uploaded a picture to Walgreens and printed invitations, and we had the most fun making centerpieces our of burlap and mason jars. It is about the two people getting married and even though we could afford to do anything we wanted, we love what we have created for about $10k. Best wishes to everyone. 4 days to go..

  • Giselle

    I agree with the list. Times have changed. I’m not shocked at the negative comments. Normally it comes from those that actually care about all the things that really don’t matter too much to the overall wedding guest.
    And I suggest people proof read before publishing their comments.

  • Paige

    This list was helpful, especially for those brides who have a budget and are not quite sure to budget. While some may disagree, which looks like there are a few judging by the hilarious and ridiculous previous posts, there are ways to decrease costs of a wedding. As I just went to a wedding this past weekend, the bride should’ve read this article and spent less on her dress and maybe more for a proper dinner (olde el paso tacos seriously), and a DJ.
    There are always going to be people who disagree with your list and unfortunately they seem to think their opinion matters most.
    Thank you for an insightful article.

  • Nicole

    SO basically the guest don’t care about anything? I don’t know about anyone else, but I cant help it when it comes to critiquing someone’s wedding. I care about EVERYTHING! This article is crazy to me.

  • R

    Understandably, advice is something that is always wanted to be GIVEN, but not always TAKEN. Each person has their own opinion, and I do give credit to that, however… The wedding is for the Bride and Groom to share their ideas and desires, AND THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF THEIR LIVES TOGETHER, with the people they care most about. If a guest doesn’t like “something” then, who cares. Spend money where you want, don’t spend it where someone ‘else’ decides. Make the wedding what you want it to be, because IT’S THE DAY FOR THE BRIDE and GROOM!

  • Allen Greenky

    My advice for couples planning a wedding on a budget. Think about what your family normally does for a family event like thanksgiving or Christmas etc. then step it up from that. the entire wedding industry has planned to promote/market and entice you with this whole charade of lets imagine we’re billionaires for the day. (ok why tuxedos? that’s what A list movie stars and billionaires wear or so we imagine…why limos? they are ridiculous for a wedding party, the bridesmaids have to do this duck walk in ball gowns and heels to get to the middle bench.) anyway I’m a wedding officiant and all the time I get couples who seem to think the whole perfectly written ceremony will be a magick spell that ensures their success, when the long passages of great literature is boring the audience and putting grandpa to sleep. …ceremony, get to the point. reception, its a party, food and entertainment.

  • Brooke

    AWESOME ARTICLE. Thank YOU so much for confirming my thoughts! I feel soooooo much better now and it really did alleviate the stress of things that you can let go of. The food, music, drinks, venue, etc. Well done and thank you for the much needed reminder. <3

  • Scroll Cards @A2zWeddingCards

    This is really informative post, thanks for sharing!! Would like to implement this list in my wedding.

  • Emily Leininger

    I have to agree with all of this! I find that the details are beautiful and I fall in love with them, but that isn’t what people are going to be talking about in a month, your open bar and delicious dinner however, that they will remember!

  • Annie

    Love this list. I too am not surprised by all the negative comments but as I plan my wedding ALL of these keep ringing true for me.. for example, I really don’t want to do a bouquet toss. I think they’re awkward and totally kill the dancing vibes. Glad to have some reassurance that so many brides feel the same. (Plus why do I want to pay extra for a bouquet some guests will toss 2 weeks later!?)

  • Jessica olson

    I have to agree with this when attending weddings these lists are accurate… However I’m trying to remember these tips as I plan my own right now… Hard not to get caught up on the little things on details.

  • Rose

    I think the music and drinks are something that people will remember about your wedding!! I know that I always do! 🙂

  • April Bentley

    Agreed!

  • Rachael

    Very interesting article. I think it depends on the person and every person has a different opinion.

  • Tara

    Good info – thanks!

  • Katie

    So true! My favorite part is watching the ceremony and watching the bride and groom interact through the night (the food and drinks are a plus!) Whatever makes that couple happy will leave everyone smiling.

  • Alyssa

    We skipped on the wedding favors and a few other things and it was great. I wish we would have skipped the bouquet/garter toss and programs too.

  • Kari

    This is pretty helpful- I agree with the dress. No point in dropping thousands on a dress you’ll only wear once, and you can get dresses made or find ones that aren’t designer that are gorgeous and much less expensive!

  • Megan Kalberg

    I agree wholeheartedly with this article!!!

  • Chloe Brigl

    Totally agree with this — just trying to feed people well, let them have fun, and show them the love!

  • Kelli

    This seems to line up pretty well to where we are saving and splurging.

  • Janae

    I always say that it’s the marriage that’s important; not the wedding! The wedding is a celebration of something much bigger 🙂

  • Briana

    Great ideas!

  • Kaitlin Martin

    What a wonderful article. Out of all the weddings I have been invited to all I remember is the ceremony, food and the dance!! Invitations?? nope no way!! I am for sure going to make Ben read this! He wants over the top invites!! No thanks!

  • Michelle

    This is actually a spot-on article for me! Thanks for the reminder! We all do not need to be married to comment on this article. The correct shoe to put ourselves in here is NOT the US (the ones who are getting married) but that of a guest. How does a guest view this? How do you, as a guest invited before to a wedding ceremony, view this?

    1. Of course the details of the invitation are important, but do we need to splurge for the best invitation card? Going for the classic designs always does the trick. The guests only need to know the date, time, venue and when to be there.

    2. And I am actually skipping wedding favours. I have thrown away most of the wedding favours that I have been given at the weddings that I have gone to (including some chocolates because I do not eat them). I also do not like to sign wedding guestbooks. I think some attendees have the bad habit of just signing off their name (which are not legible).

    3. First dance – I have been to a few where people skip it altogether.

    4. Bouquet Toss – Honestly… I know exactly how the girls waiting for the bouquet toss and who do not get the bouquet feel. So, I will skip this too.

  • Eryn

    As other people have said, this is not true for all weddings. I know I have not had all of these thoughts when attending a wedding.

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